According to Taoist thought, the "sage" is a persona and personality that represents high virtue and attainment.

The sage, according to Taoism ...

  • is detached, yet compassionate;
  • enjoys life, yet does not cling to it;
  • is a perfectionist, yet indifferent to success or failure;
  • is a man of honour, yet avoids reaping honour;
  • ignores ethics and morals, but lives a life of the highest moral order;
  • does not strive, yet achieves;
  • knows the answers, but prefers to remain silent;
  • has the innocence of a child, but incredible inner strength.

Dramatis Personae

Names changed. Obviously.

  • Two beta guys from France (Andy, Julien)
  • HB7 Thai girl (Mintra)
  • HB8 Korean girl (Chusae)
  • Some other Thai men and women (who cares)
  • Me

Vive La Revolution

A guesthouse in South Korea. Andy, Julien, Mintra, the other Thais, and myself, sitting at a table, I'm watching TV, the others are playing King's Cup. Mintra calls my name, asks if I want to play. I say no. However, the TV episode just finished, I switch my attention to the group.

Andy&J are clearly hitting on Mintra. Mintra is dropping no indication of interest, answering curtly, but Andy&J persist. Attack shows intent (Art of War); they are making abundantly clear that one or both of them want sex with Mintra. They go for the frat bro game of trying to get Mintra drunk by constantly offering her soju. She declines again. Andy&J's frames are both weak, as they continue to pursue, asking Mintra if she wants to go to a bar with them. Mintra simply indicates indifference, "I'm not sure, I don't know, I want to talk to my friends first."

I enter conversation here, seeing an opportunity. This is the first thing I say since I declined to join the drinking game. "Hey, Andy, I'd like to come with you." Mintra now agrees to go. OK, there's possible interest from Mintra. Andy&J are making fools of themselves continuing to try and offer Mintra drinks. They will get nothing tonight if they persist.

We get to a bar called Bar Da. I seat myself next to Mintra. Andy&J decide to order everyone a round of vodka tonics. I decide to decline that offer and order a White Russian with my own money. I want to disassociate myself from the Frenchmen as much as possible.

I establish rapport with Mintra's group by asking them to teach me Thai swear words. I've already forgotten them now. One is a word that means "bastard". I do the thing where you teach someone a swear word making them think it means something harmless to Julien, telling him it means "best friend". He says that to Mintra and everyone laughs.

I get up to order another White Russian. I look back at my table and Andy has almost instantly stolen my seat. Aside from the obviously forceful territorial attack, this idiot has also denied me the last seat in the bar. I will have to stand. Haha, no I won't. I walk up to Andy. "I challenge you to a dance battle. Whoever wins, wins the seat."

What a silly idea. What a stupid thing to do in a small bar like Bar Da. Everyone will laugh at me, surely, I didn't think, as my competitive French friend, sensing an opportunity to make me look really stupid, started dancing like a 16 year old who had just discovered hip-hop. I then danced like a 23 year old who used to be a 16 year old who just discovered hip-hop, and won the seat. Andy stood for the rest of the time we were at the bar. Don't accept sudden and odd challenges. Chances are, the opponent is setting you up for failure.

I reflected on the situation at this point. Andy&J were now really quite drunk from King's Cup, a 600mL bottle of soju between them on the way to Bar Da (14% content for non-Koreans) and what were now two vodka tonic rounds, I had skipped the drinking game and was feeling nice from two White Russians. Andy had also bought drinks for Mintra and her friends, which totalled ~20,000KRW ($20 US), while I had spent 8,000KRW. On two White Russians. Andy&J were chasing hard for Mintra, while I was sitting next to her, building rapport with her and her friends. A sage does not strive, he achieves. (Tao te Ching) Pick your battles. (Art of War)

At this point Andy&J both gave up. They went to the bar and got wasted. I never saw them again. At this point, the time is 12am. It is 1 hour since we have left the guesthouse, and 90min since I joined the conversation at the guesthouse. I am now the focus of attention; I am "holding court". I decide to go to a club with the Thai group, saying goodbye to Andy&J.

Enter Club Cocoon.

Vive La Revolution 2: Vive Harder

I decide not to pursue Mintra (I had no reasoning behind this, this was simply instinct.) Instead, I notice on the dancefloor that there are a number of pillars around which raised platforms stand. There are a few people standing on these platforms, not really dancing. I decide to get up on the platform. My objective is to just go fucking nuts; in fact, I have no objective, I just genuinely want to have fun. I start dancing like I'm on two hits of Mitsubishi ecstasy, fist pumping, flipping off the ceiling, making stupid faces, going just absolutely nuts. I start making peace signs in the air, and bit by bit, one or two people standing below the platform start making them back. Then three or four. I just keep fist pumping and going crazy on that platform. The Thai group are laughing their asses off. They think I'm pretending to be a stripper. They start cheering me on. I won't go all thathappened and say that everyone in the fucking club, including the DJ and stage rappers starting clapping and cheering me on, because this is TRP, not tumblr. But I'm getting responses. People are noticing me. I don't notice them until I step off the platform.

Enter Chusae.

I look at her, she looks back. I smile, she smiles, I walk up to her and put my arms around her, she hugs me back. We make out. That whole process takes about one minute. F-close one hour after that.

End field report.

Looking back at the FR, I want to highlight something really important. At only one point did I think, "I should have sex tonight.", and that was in the moment I start making out with Chusae. The rest of the night was just watching what Andy&J did to try and score with Mintra, building rapport with the Thai group. Even if the encounter with Chusae had never happened, I achieved far more in that night while paying far less; I never gave the Thai group anything but my attention and conversation, and gained a group of cool friends from whom I could potentially derive future value, while Andy&J spent a lot of money to...get wasted, in a misguided and frankly desperate attempt to get laid with a mid-tier Thai girl with caked-on makeup and colour contacts.

Remember my references to the "sage" at the beginning? Let me bring a few of them back up here.

  • A sage enjoys life, yet does not cling to it Enjoying life for yourself, not for the sake of others.

  • A sage is a perfectionist, yet indifferent to success or failure Otherwise known as outcome independence. Strive to improve your SMV, but project that SMV in an effortless way, not caring about the potential outcomes. This is also one of the 48 Laws of Power.

  • A sage does not strive, yet achieves Did I strive? Did I in any way sink any substantial cost to gain these friends? Did I sacrifice any of my own fun to score Chusae? Did I need to? And, in that same train of thought, was it wise for Andy&J to sacrifice money and focus to attempt to score with Mintra?

  • A sage has the innocence of a child, but incredible inner strength As soon as Andy&J chased Mintra back at the guesthouse, they revealed their sexual intent in an overt way, thus ruining their "innocence", and showing weakness, as it was clear that they had something to lose if they failed to score with Mintra, which was their sense of manly pride.

Read the Tao Te Ching. It's short, and incredibly deep.