For more than a year, I knew something was wrong...

She’s not a bad person. But like all women’s, she’s unbearably emotional when things get rough.

Now, I’m emotionally exhausted... I feel dead... and I’m running on autopilot with my tank on “E”.

The first red flag was at the start of 2017...

She said she wanted me to be more romantic... more exciting... give her more attention...

Backstory: I’ve been unwillingly (at least not consciously) supporting her financially for a few years while she struggled to find work and, now, slowly builds her business.

I’m endured her dramas... her traumas... and her mother, who we unfortunately live with.

My financial situation with student loan debt (six figures) prevents me from being able to afford rent on my own.

Anyway, on top of all this stress I’m supposed to be a RomCom prince?

Well, I said I’d try better. But I also asked for her to do the same with respect to romantic gestures...

She panicked... got emotional... and said she felt like running away.

I should have lifted then.

The second red flag was last summer.

She said she wanted to move out on her own while we remained a long distance relationship.

This is after I moved to her home state - following her - to be with her in order to avoid a long distance relationship.

She realized she was being selfish and apologized. But trust in her was shattered. I began to realize I couldn’t rely on her as a partner.

But I stayed.

The third red flag was last fall...

I planned a spa weekend for her birthday and a dinner with friends.

All I asked was for her to be ready ON TIME for her own dinner...

But that didn’t happen. I was upset. I was stressed. I had people calling me... criticizing me (her friends)... and had to reschedule and change places...

But she didn’t care. She said if these were her true friends they should just not rush her.

She didn’t care about my efforts in planning things for her.

The next day she said I ruined her birthday because I wasn’t as happy as I should have been and was mad at her.

I told her I felt disrespected for doing something nice for her and then her feeling callous about the stress I was dealing with simply because she wasn’t (as usual) capable of being on time.

She then transformed the conversation about how my being mad at her triggered her feelings about her dad being absent in her life and on her birthdays, and how she doesn’t like her friends and on and on and on.

Long story short, I called her out on emotionally manipulating me every time a express my frustrations (always obsessively communicating in a calm and clear manner so she won’t get triggered) and turning it into how she’s ultimately the victim and I just “don’t understand” her feelings.

This became a day long fight in which she turned into a psycho, got her mom involved and I had to leave the house just to process what the fuck was happening.

I was 99% sure I was leaving... but I didn’t.

The fourth red flag...

Our (read: her) dog suddenly went paralyzed and needed surgery. Neither of us had the money...

But I did have something... a decent credit score.

I got over $5,000 of overnight credit card debt paying for the dog. She contributed $500...

Which I had to pay back to her the next day because those funds were supposed to be for her business client.

I started to feel alone... I could rely on no one... I was financially punched in the gut because of “love” and because I was being a “good partner”.

A month later I went to the hospital for my blood pressure. One doctor said I might have been pre-stroke...

I rethought everything. I had to consider the sources of stress in my life.

I told her she needed to start helping financially. After a fight about it (a story unto itself) she agreed and took a part time job at a cafe.

A month later, she tells me she’s going to quit because the money is shit and she only did it because I “coerced” her into taking it.

She also said she shouldn’t have to make decisions like that for someone else because it’s her life.

I should have left... but I didn’t.

And here I am today, and zombie. I’ve lost all empathy and sympathy for her problems.

I love and care for her, and she smiles and says she loves me too. But it just never feels quite right.

I’m still trying to summon the strength to leave, but it’s irrationally difficult when you’ve invested so much.

Learn from me...

Even the NAWALTs can become serious trouble if you’re not vigilant.

Somehow I still believe she truly cares for me. But my rational mind says to let her go.

I won’t talk to you like someone who’s made the decision to go MGTOw yeti... I’m still on the frontlines fighting.

But MGTOW matters to us entrapped one’s too. We see your freedom. And we honor your bravery.

I hope to join you honorable men soon.