So guys I want to thank really, an honest thanks to you for taking the time to give this lost observer directions to find my meaning. I will try to use these diseases as obstacles that stand in my way to my inner peace, but I also have to something to say about happiness, I don't think I will ever be able to find true happiness. Universe is too chaotic for that kind of thing, the only thing is what you can find is appease your wish for finding meaning, maybe I can't talk of happiness since I still haven't found mine purpose and meaning. But the thing of not knowing what can I become if I push onward and battle these demons, I want to see if I will come out stronger than before, like Saiyans in DBZ(maybe a stupid comparison, meh...). If in the long run things with my health get really worse, I fear I will resort to, well you know. I don't want to live with chronic pain, etc.

If the happens, I want men to get what they deserve, that is to be men, to be who they want to be, to be free. They say we make wars that destroy, but who made the things that were destroyed in those wars. I know we will never find peace with this system, that is why we decided to take part in it as low as possible or opt out of it. Thanks for having to patience for reading this, good luck, your observant MGTOW brother.