This movie is an exquisite viewing experience for those of us here because it has everything. You have the Women Are Wonderful EffectTM , how not to rebound, and reasons to stay the fuck out of Canada all in this movie. It's on Netflix. It's about a guy who fucked a chick with really bad Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She ends up killing him and more. There are going to be spoilers here.

The movie really struck a chord with me because I dated a BPD girl once.

Let me interject early: you need to stay the fuck away from these people. BPD takes all the worst parts of femininity -all the manipulation, plausible deniability, playing the victim- and raises it to the power of 10. Whatever nightmare SO you have mentally conjured by reading the worst of TRP, you would more likely find it in a BPD person than anyone else.

What I'm going to do is present you guys the subtext of this story as I understood it. It's not an explicitly TRP movie, but there are some meaningful analyses here to read into.

Here is the victim, one Andrew Bagby. He was in medical school when he was engaged to Heather Arnold. The real beginning of this story is here, when they broke up. This is the first point of analysis.

The doc only says he was very distraught after she moved on, it doesn't go further. So either he was cheated on, or they broke it off and she moved on much quicker than he did. Apparently, he was devastated. And why shouldn't he be? Sure, he was going to be a doctor, but so was everyone else around him. His relative SMV was low. He was well liked, but look at him. He was a pudgeball. And his ex-fiance, she's not a fat mess and was probably even prettier when she was younger. He was dating out of his league and he knew it. Seeing her move on confirmed that fear.

But why? Well here is a picture of him during his college graduation. He's thinner, not a bad looking dude at all. And here he is with Heather that same day.

Now here's him at his med school graduation. Do you see what happened? Most likely he let the stress of school get to him. Or maybe after the breakup he put on even more weight. Either way, there is no way this guy ever worked out on the regular. Maybe that's why she left him. Or maybe that's why his self-esteem was so low that he eventually made the decision that would result in the end of his life.

So this guy is a beta in this environment. This is confirmed by what happens next in his story. His gets into a general surgery residency (the next step after med school) so, okay, this guy is going to be a surgeon. I'm a medical student I can tell you general surgery is one of the most challenging specialties someone can do. You work your ass off for 5-6 years, but when you get out you are highly paid and highly respected. But if you feel anything less than complete love for the field, you will fail. And that's what happened. He dropped out his intern year (1st year), and switched to Family Medicine as a specialty, arguably the bottom of the food chain when it comes to doctor circles. Not competitive to get into, and you make the least of all the doctors when you get out of residency.

So things went from bad to worse from him, as we know things can do after a bad breakup. This part here is what I want to point out to you guys. This is a major decision point for any man who finds himself in these tough circumstances. This is where you are most prone to make huge mistakes, but also have a lot of potential to shine. It's a make or break point in your life.

But it broke him.

He ended up fucking the first thing that showed him any interest. This thing. The Lovecraftian creature named Shirley Turner.

Does she look older to you? That's because she is. She was 40, in the same medical school, when she hooked up with the rebounding Andrew when he was 28. I don't know if Andrew knew, but she also had a couple of kids from different men, whom she gave up custody to.

When he started residency, she would fly out to see him all the time. She was very sexually open with him in front of people, and there's even camera footage of them together demonstrating as much, her all over him. And she wasn't entirely hideous, definitely not fat or even close.

She made him feel like a fucking stud.

And she was going to be a doctor too. A little late, sure (multiple and frequent career/location changes are another tipoff to BPD, particularly when the person is intelligent) but that didn't matter. And they were both specializing in family medicine.

You know how else he must have felt?

I'm getting back what I lost.

And this is all going on inside a year, not longer. Because that's how long it'll take most of us to come to our fucking senses. And he did. Sort of.

He breaks up with her, probably because he's not THAT stupid and realizes she's fucking crazy. She starts calling him incessantly.

30 calls one morning.

100 calls another day.

It's not a clean break. He answers the calls. He even sees her again. In the doc, you see friends describing how drawn out the break up was, and you see them say things like "he didn't know how to be a bad guy." They're talking about his inability to ghost her. A crazy woman with BPD will have 20 complete meltdowns when you try to break up with them. "Nice guys" have no idea how to handle that. They don't know how to say NO, then not say anything again. They don't know how to tell someone to fuck off for good.

She flies out there again. He's still trying to let her down gently because all he sees is this bundle of emotions in front of him. She's the victim. She's hurt. He wants to help. It's his fault she's like this, his fault for not wanting her. He wants to fix it.

But he puts her on a plane back to Iowa. She gets there's, then spends the entire night driving back to see him. She wants to talk. He's a nice guy, she just drive some crazy distance, so he obliges.

And she shoots him in the fucking face. And the chest. And twice in the ass.

When she learns she is the prime suspect in his murder, she runs to Canada.

Oh and she's also pregnant with his baby.

It takes almost 2 years to extradite her to the US. She has the baby. Andrew's parents are beside themselves. After it finally happens, she is put in jail, pending murder trial with no bail. The baby goes to stay with Andrew's parents.

Enter justice Gale Welsh of Canada. Somehow, Shirley Turner thinks to write to her while in prison. Welsh ends up giving her complete directions on how to appeal, which is weird. So she applies.

Gale Welsh decides to give her bail and sets it at a whopping $75,000. Turner's psychiatrist puts up $65,000 of it. Gee, I wonder why.

Because woman. Intelligent woman who can write. Andrew's mom describes Welsh as "gushing" over Turner when they met. The mother said she knew right away what was going to happen. Welsh said her reasoning was that Turner's crime was

not directed at the public at large but was specific in nature.

She only wanted to kill Andrew not everyone else! He probably provoked it too, right? Probably deserved it in some way. Turner most likely thought so and implied as much to the justice, because that's how BPD people are. They buy into their own bullshit very thoroughly and that's what makes them good liars.

So Turner is out on bail. And guess what else! She gets to share custody of her child! A suspect in a premeditated murder!

Because mother.

Here is a heartwarming picture of Andrew's mom having to share custody with the person who murdered her son in cold blood. This was a common occurrence, too.

So we have a potential murder (likely, because really good evidence). Only she was a woman, and a mother, so therefore let's let her go on a pittance and let her see her son, oh and also let's have her share the custody with the closest relatives of the person she probably murdered such that they have to be in close contact on a daily basis.

Can you even fucking imagine this chain of events unfolding if it were a man. Can you even see this story progressing halfway to where it is.

Of course not. Because crazy is crazy. It's not that men are treated worse, it's that women are treated better. Men get the kind of outcomes that crazy psychopaths should get. Women get the pussy pass.

And do you know what happens when you give psychopaths a pass?

They walk into the fucking Atlantic Ocean with their 13 month old son in their arms and commit a murder-suicide. And they even try to leave a string of 'clues' to frame the parents of the son they killed.

A former lover of Turner's said he once found her sprawled out in front of his door, in an apparent suicide attempt. In her hands was a suicide note that read,

"I'm not evil. I'm just sick."

For fuck's sake.

By the way, the 'Honorable' 'Justice' Gale Welsh is still in her position in the Supreme Court of Newfoundland and Labrador.

Lesson's Learned

  1. Build yourself up after a breakup. Raise your standards, don't lower them.

  2. Be outcome independent. If raising your standards means you go without, then go without.

  3. Recognize BPD and stay the hell away from it. People who move multiple times, frequently change jobs and schools, in addition to multiple suicide attempts (of the attention-seeking variety) or pregnancy 'threats,' are especially red flags. I actually wrote an entire post on how to suspect BPD, since this topic is close to my heart.

  4. Canada hates you. Stay away.

  5. Fucking lift, man. Even if you had such low self-esteem that a 40 year old monster looks appealing, if you looked good you'd also have the 25 year old showing you interest and you won't have a problem choosing.

  6. Watch this documentary. You will get a lot more from the whole thing.