I'm a 24 year old MGTOW thats been involved in this sub since it was only a thousand members. This is going to be a bit of a rant.

I have been in several LTRs. My last relationship was 3 years ago. I was a MGTOW then as well, but those were the early days of getting introduced into The Red Pill, it was a very hard pill to swallow and took me 2 years to rid myself of the anger towards the situation but For the past 1-2 years I've been content with it and I've been doing my own thing. I've gotten a bit of attention from girls during this time, and I have rejected several dates. I simply do not find them interesting or....even physically attractive anymore. I thought it was done. Out of my hair. Forever safe. I thought I had beaten nature.

Until today.

I go into work today and get introduced to this girl who is a transfer from another store. She was younger, late teens or early 20s. She had all the tell tale signs of trouble.

  1. She's a woman
  2. I could tell she had a belly piercing

As one of the long time workers of the place, I always make new comers feel welcome by joking and fooling around a bit and then I went about my day. This girl was right across from me working, and I slowly realized the intense attraction I had to her. She was not a 8 or even a 9. A solid 7.5 and I've rejected 8s and 9s in the past 3 years but this girl was different. She was just DOING something for me. Her perfect skin, big innocent eyes, how shy she was (Barely said a word to anyone else but me because of my fooling around to make her feel welcome), her mannerisms. I couldn't take it anymore.

3 years. Of all the women I had met and never gave a second thought about. All the hundreds of women, she was the one that broke through my MGTOW. I went against everything I believed in as a mgtow and struck up a conversation with her as a result of attraction. We chatted for so long, and obviously she smiled and laughed at everything I said. I knew this behavior all too well. After that, each time she saw me she smiled. I KNEW what she was trying to do but I didn’t seem to care. I continued. I ENJOYED her smile. I had the biggest urge to keep talking to her and spending time with her. Later on in the day I even contemplated offering a ride home before I realized she had a car, and knowing how I felt at that time I would’ve given her a ride home no matter how far she lived. What would’ve even been the point of that? To become her boyfriend? To get laid? I have prostitutes for that.

logically speaking there was no reason for her to like me like she was pretending to. I am all too familiar with that. I'm not a attractive dude, I don't have money, I'm 5'7 and I am of middle eastern origin. Literally bottom of the barrel. I am not saying because of a lack of confidence but as fact. In today's sexual market, she can go on tinder and date/fuck 10/10 chads even if she's a 6. She has a sea of men to choose from at will. That's reality. Unless she knew me personally, and my hobbies and personality, there was no reason for her to be attracted to me. 5 years ago this would have been possible, not today. Their unconscious game plan for men like me is to pretend to like me but then keep me around as a beta orbiter.

There were a few things I did to help her throughout the day like a beta blue pill fuck that Im too ashamed to even mention.

I came home and I am completely ashamed and disappointed in myself. Scared even, that I could get trapped into this in the future. I thought I was done with this.

Thankfully there's a chance its the last time I see her. She was only a transfer for the day. If she was permanent, I would consider relocation.

All she had to do is simply exist and look pretty and she had such a effect on me. I hate our goddamn species.