Ever since I can remember I've been fed this fantasy like most guys out there. This Hollywood bullshit about finding the one, and when you do find them fight for them. To provide and put your well being for them. Even more so lately, guys who step up to be step fathers, they are cheered for stepping up. I was one of these idiots that was fully indoctrinated in this fantasy. At 22, I got into a relationship with a single mother. I had tried to get her before her pregnancy but failed, she decided to stay with her current bf at the time. Months later she got pregnant, and when she gave birth her bf bailed out on her. She was single and with a baby. Normally I wouldn't have gotten with her but beta,cuck, etc. Let me tell you that it was horrible, she at first didn't push the idea for me to provide for her son but after a couple of months I made what I thought was a great act in declaring as the father of her son. I was a white knight coming to her rescue and her son also. I would buy diapers, formula, wipes, etc. I would always pay whenever we went out, I did all this cause I was raised that men should always pay. I bought flowers, told her how beautiful she was, telling her I love her many times. I know guys, I was as beta as they come. I would be working 2 jobs busting my ass in fast food but my ex always complained that I never spent any time with her, whenever I did though it was at her place with her family, or sometimes at place but always with "our" son. When I complained I only wanted time with her she would give me shit. At this point they were red flags for example her keeping in contact with the baby daddy and her first real bf.

6months on a Sunday morning I'm off work after doing a night shift, she txt me that she has to tell me something in person. Later day while I'm working at my second job she comes and tells me she was texting the baby daddy and that they made out only. I tell her that it's over but she suggest, while crying, that we should talk after I'm off work. She threatens that she'll kill herself and I give in and talk after my long Sunday. Hate to say it fellas but I decided to stay with her. We all make mistakes I thought. Couple weeks later on Christmas I spend $800 on her smartphone present.

After this we still had the same problems, fighting, not enough sex, she would from time to time txt her first bf. I was busting my ass at work and trying to make enough time for her and "our" son. But the beta in me was planning already in moving in with her and about marrying her. As time went on she wanted to go out clubbing out with me or without me. I was paying for one of her own personal bills while still responsible for her kid. 18months in we have a regular fight and she decides to go out clubbing. A week later we talk and things are back to normal but through me being untrustworthy of her at this point, I go through her email and see messages of a guy she met at the club. I had enough at this point and breakup. The pathetic beta in me though ask for us to get back together a couple weeks later but this time she's asking for some changes if we do. Luckily this time we didn't get back together. For almost 8 months I still haven't gotten over her till I came across a search result to a reddit post, "how to know your dating a slut, source: I married one", that post on the redpill opened my eyes. I couldn't believe how many signs I ignored. As with any new subreddit, I consumed so many post. I finally had taken that red pill, I don't quite remember how but I stumbled across mgtow but I generally tend to prefer that now. I won't be a slave to pussy.

I recognize how blue pilled I was and am in disgust when I think of the old me. I was weak and let myself be almost destroyed by my ex. I am thankful for all the men that have opened my eyes with their own hardships. I am now finally doing what I was doing 5yrs ago, back in school to get a better job, police officer, and working out for myself not for the chase of pussy. Have money, finally have my circle of friends who I almost lost cause of that trash and enjoying life. For any guys out there, don't be like me, go your own way.

Sorry for any gramatical errors.