My family was back this weekend for Memorial Day. I'm lucky in that I generally enjoy being around my siblings and their significant others. We're having a lovely conversation about about nothing really when my married-BP brother says "I'm having Burger King tonight, my wife's in Texas visiting family so I get to eat wherever I want!" Very proud that he can do as he pleases for the night. I laugh and say "I remember those days. They were the best!" Except now that's everyday of my life!"(insert smug grin here). Engage BP hamstering---> my brother begins to state how I'm just trying to make myself feel better about being single. I laugh and go "Naw it's really just nice to do whatever the hell I want honestly" Brother begins to Error 404 when presented with contrary evidence to his worldview which in turns triggers his need to validate it.

He turns to my other brother sitting beside me with his girlfriend and says "when are you two finally going to get married?" My other brother laughs and says "why, things are pretty good the way they are now." Girlfriend says nothing, but you can tell her wheels are spinning. Meanwhile, my sister's long time boyfriend who is pretty clever and I'm pretty sure 100% RP, goes "Jeez, MERC, you just have it all figured out, don't you?" with a shit eating grin on his face. I'm predicting at this rate my BP brother will be the only married sibling I have.

His wife is tolerable at this point but time will tell, it helps that she comes from an old fashioned bible humping family at least.

TLDR: BP brother can't handle RP bombs going off around around him; proceeds to cower in foxhole and pray to Jesus.

Edited for punctuation.