Mother of my daughter is out of the house finally..

lonewolf-chicago · 2017-05-22T12:29:57+00:00

I am here brother. Get the best fucking lawyer you can and plan on spending as much fucking money as you can possibly afford because those first few Court hearings will set the stage.

I was lucky and was able to find an apartment two blocks from my condo. I see my daughter almost every day except for Mondays. I either take her to school or I pick her up from school and we eat dinner on Tuesdays and Fridays and of course every other Saturday and Sunday she's with me.

You'll find very soon that the time you spend with her is awesome and you will also appreciate the time you don't see her as long as you see her often.

In other words, like me, I appreciate my Mondays but of course I look forward to seeing my daughter on Tuesdays through Fridays. Sometimes it is only a car ride to school but I try my best to make it special we laugh we talk when I dropped her off I get out of my truck and I give her a big hug and a kiss before she goes to school.

I can give you this advice although it might seem minor right now, it is honestly the only source of stress that I experience.

Do not put yourself in a position where you are depending on your wife or ex-wife to be on time. There has to be a time constraint.

It is better to pick your daughter up from school then to sit outside waiting for her to be released by your wife or ex-wife. She will take every opportunity to be passive aggressive and she will be late, sometimes making you late.

And she will fucking love it.

Have money in reserve for an attorney because she will take you to court at least two or three times in the first five years. Never miss a fuckin payment keep all of your records for every goddamn thing even if it seems minor. I would keep a spreadsheet.

That cunt will take you to court and you need to have everything documented. Operate all finances and all circumstances like your ex is a ball busting IRS cunt where you get audited every 30 days.

I do not give a shit if she seems cordial and nice. She will fucking turn and when she does you need to have your shit together.

2017-05-22T11:52:23+00:00

Feels my man.

Been doing this myself for 7 years.

I have been through some painful shit, but nothing prepared me for the shitstorm that is having your children stolen from you. It's a never ending nightmare I can't wake up from. Easily the most destructive thing I have ever experienced.

You're about to be raped in every way possible... emotionally, financially, socially by a court system that does not give a shit about you, or your kids for that matter. There's not even any wiggle room in the process... it's a cookie cutter formula thing. Her lawyer is going to advise her to claim abuse/neglect, drug/alcohol abuse, mental instability etc. Not because any of that is true, (even if it is), but because the courts are corrupt as fuck and get kickbacks from all the businesses which provide services to gauge your mental stability, drug/alcohol dependency etc.

You'll likely get mandatory mental health evaluations, drug & alcohol testing and some period of supervised visitation. All these "services" are expensive and you will be paying. These businesses also will just happen to be contributors to the judge's "campaign fund".

They will max out your child support as well for the same reason. The federal government provides matching funds to the county for child support they collect... this creates a direct financial incentive to max your support payments of course... so they will.

You'll receive the standard visitation agreement which amounts to 4 days/month with your child.

You will also get virtually no say in the important decisions regarding your child's health and well being. You will have a document titled "Joint custody affecting the interests of a child" which is anything but. I'm happy to send you a copy of mine... when you read it you will fudge your huggies... it basically says you will be consulted about these decisions, but have no authority to make decisions without going back to court. (Which you will lose if you do so).

I make good money so once I calculate my 28% tax bracket, the 25% child support, sales tax, property tax, insurance, various mandatory fees etc. etc. the government takes around 3/4 of what I produce. What should be a comfortable upper middle class life is gone... just living hand to mouth again... set me back 20 years.

Many knock-on effects as well... you can't be the brother, uncle, son, friend you should be to anyone else... you simply can't afford it.

Meanwhile she will be receiving massive subsidies from government services (which you are paying for) in addition to your support. My ex doesn't work at all, but has a comfy middle class life, drives a brand new loaded vehicle and is just coasting right along without a worry.

You have my sympathy.

Slaide · 2017-05-22T03:14:54+00:00

I am sorry I cannot help; I became MGTOW before having to deal with such issues.

All I can say is: stay strong. The cunt will use all of your present and future actions against you. Your best to win in court is to prove that she would not provide a suitable environment to raise a child.

Hmmm... Check this video out by TFM:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVQrmbwpEps

It does not help with your first demand, but might help with the second... maybe.

Volcanic-Penguin · 2017-05-22T11:42:45+00:00

Hey there, I can definitely relate. Father of my daughter who is now 2,5.

Sticking with a woman you can't stand because you want to be with your child. The relief of breaking up while also missing your child.

Before I went to court I was really angry. At one point I even screamed at a total stranger in a car.

I can't say I'm an expert but this is my general advice having gone through something similar.

Try to keep your cool as much as possible and if you have to vent do it in ways that aren't recorded. Try to not argue with your child's mother and always be respectful. Document anything she says that's out of line. Don't say mean things to her if she says mean things to you, just let it slide. I don't know your child's mother but if she's anything like mine she may have a short fuse and a long cool down. Try to get along with her to the extent it's possible.

When going to court be cooperative and calm rather than combative and angry. What you want to convey is that you can both cooperate in parenting your child, not how bad of a person your child's mother is.

You may want to ask people on r/MensRights as well.

GwarvoBurger · 2017-05-22T13:06:29+00:00

What's the custody situation? I'm in a similar situation but I have 50% custody of my 3.5 year old daughter. My wife was more than willing to give up 50%. My cynical theory is that she can't get out and date if she has 100%. The toughest part has been the loss of time with my daughter. I find the most helpful thing is to keep yourself busy with whatever. It sounds corny as fuck but I also found help in reading self-help books that deal with acceptance. It's been hard for me to let go of resentment and anger towards my ex-wife for having my time with my daughter taken from me. However, I can't change that. 50% is the best I will do under the circumstances. I don't want to live with anger and resentment because I don't want it to take away from my enjoyment of the present and the time I do have with my daughter. It's also been a huge relief for me to have my ex-wife move out given the shit I've been through in the last year. I am much happier as a person.

Grsflttchn · 2017-05-23T11:50:49+00:00

my kids living now 500km away from me for 3 years. i see em 2 days every month. all i can tell you is, that it will hurt less and less, but will never stop to hurt. i still have tears in my eyes when i see dads with their kids. focus on yourself, she needs a happy dad. enjoy and value every second with her. the day will come your lil girl will judge, no fear. i wish you all the best and all strength possible !

PublicConsciousness · 2017-05-23T13:28:55+00:00

Go to the original TFM video specifically with DDJ, listen to the whole thing. DDJ went into paralegal to learn just how far the corrupt rabbit hole goes in terms of bias in favor of the female in family/divorce courts. This after experiencing it first hand.

Title	Mother of my daughter is out of the house finally..
Author	Patingham
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	May 22, 2017 3:06 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/6cks4y/mother_of_my_daughter_is_out_of_the_house_finally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/mother-of-my-daughter-is-out-of-the-house-finally.586640 https://theredarchive.com/post/586640

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