I know this doesn't apply to every situation, but men too have a strong need for emotional connection and intimacy. If they're not getting this at home they might stray. This is often overlooked or twisted into "He's just a rotten cheating bastard".

Often it is a combination of many of the points below:

  1. She puts either absolutely no effort into making sex more exciting or fun, or puts in the bare minimum. For example, she starfishes, isn't even all that horny (most of the time), never contributes new ideas, and is even against experimentation.

  2. Never (or virtually never) makes any effort to look sexy in bed. Won't wear lingerie. Will never do a strip tease or lapdance, etc.

  3. Spends a considerable amount of her time talking about her friends and their lives. In fact, it seems that her friends and their relationships are at the forefront of her mind.

  4. Plans and partakes in too many social events with these friends where you're not invited. This could include parties, trips away, visits, etc. If these friends are ultimately slutty, or known cheaters, this can lead to feelings of insecurity. Also this leads to even more discussion about these friends, back to point 3.

  5. Plans and goes on holidays with these friends/work friends, and you're not invited. This can lead to trust issues, also it means if she's not there, the man is alone. She feels no need or desire to protect her own interests and creates possibilities for him to cheat/want to cheat, etc. An example of this is her going away on some ski trip (He wasn't invited and told he can't come). He doesn't want her to go. He decides instead to go get some erotic massage while she's away to even the score.

  6. Constantly putting him down for the small stuff "Oh you started the dishwasher already?" and making him feel like shit. Not treating him with respect or taking him seriously. Well sooner or later he might be cheating.

  7. Acting in ways that makes him suspect she's cheating, even if he has no hard proof. Eg: if she's flirty and goes to a lot of parties where he's not invited. If she's hanging around low quality people who are known cheats, etc. All of this can lead to a "Oh well, she's most likely cheating, so why shouldn't I". Also a total refusal to make any lifestyle adjustments that are better for the relationship.

  8. She works night shifts and refuses to change jobs. I've seen this now a few times, where the couple don't actually need the money, and the wife could take less demanding work. But you know she enjoys working, has a social life from work, and considers any discussion about how it would be better if she worked less to be controlling. She can't even begin to believe her night shifts are totally selfish. She's an "independent" woman. He hates spending nights alone and this leads to resentment, and you know can also lead to him cheating. She doesn't give two fucks though and refuses to quit her job. She would screw up the relationship first.

  9. Her partner is not her highest priority. Family, friends, work come first - Well it's a matter of time before he cheats.

  10. She is in an emotional affair.

  11. She bad mouths her husband to all her friends. He knows this because he's come across messages or knows that look in their eyes when he does see her friends. Well sooner or later he'll feel inadequate and cheat.

Many more reasons.

So before you believe any bitch coming with some elaborate story on how she got cheated on. Don't white knight immediately.

Cheating is ultimately wrong, not a cool thing to do, but what I'm talking about here is neglect that carries on for years, leading to the man looking elsewhere for basic human needs. So don't be too quick to judge or side with the woman.

INFACT. If some bitch comes to you looking for sympathy, ask yourself, Why was she cheated on, chances are she's selfish and didn't take care of her man properly.