a long time ago in a little village there was a farmer and a farmer's wife, a miller and a miller's wife, a baker and a baker's wife, a hunter and a hunter's wife, a tailor and a tailor's wife, a carpenter and a carpenter's wife, a smith and a smith's wife, a barber and a barber's wife, a shepherd and a shepherd's wife, a fisherman and a fisherman's wife, and also a seamstress whose husband had died in the war.

the carpenter built houses for everyone and repaired everything that anyone needed repaired, and the tailor made enough clothes for everyone and the barber kept everyone groomed and pulled any sore teeth anyone had and the fisherman provided fish for everyone and so all the men made all the things that the village needed. the wives of the village spent their days keeping the homes clean and looking after all of the children and everyone was very happy except for the seamstress. she made the finest embroidery and worked with silks and made fine things for the wives, and in return the men provided her what she needed from their trades. but she was sad because the wives looked down on her and she missed her husband dearly.

one day a stranger came to the village. she told all the villagers that she was a femalist (which is not a code word for an evil, blue-haired, Satan worshipping, bloodsucking cunt-witch) and she told the wives that they were unhappy. she told them that they were being held back from having their own trades because the men wanted to be powerful. and the wives heard this and became angry with their husbands. and the wives and the widow and the femalist wrote rules and brought the rules before a meeting of all the villagers and voted on them. the men, thinking that everything had always been fine without these rules voted no, but the wives and the widow outnumbered them, and all the rules passed.

one rule stated that no crops would be planted until there had been an environmental impact survey. and so Mrs. Farmer became an environmental surveyor and Mr. Farmer could not sew his crops until she had done her work. another rule said that no structure should be built except according to a drawing from a certified architect. and so Mrs. Carpenter became an architect and her husband could not build until she had planned his work for him. still another rule forbid baking except in an approved food preparation facility. and so Mrs. Baker became a health inspector and the baker could not bake until his wife approved his kitchen. and so all of the wives had jobs that had to be done before the men could do their jobs.

the carpenter did wonder how his wife, who knew nothing of the strength of materials or of the techniques of building would draw better houses than he did. and the barber wondered how his wife would know if he were doing a bad job and needed his license revoked. and likewise all of the men wondered how their own wife having a job telling him what to do would make his work any better. but they all agreed that it was good that the women be strong and independent and have their own jobs.

and so the wives set to work. first Mrs. Carpenter drew an office building where they would all go to work, and since he had not permission to build anything else, the carpenter built the office. it took a long time and he had to work twice as hard and twice as long for a long time to catch up with everything else that fell to disrepair in that time, but he agreed that it was good that the women have an office to do their work. next Mrs. Baker arranged for her husband to bring the wives food in their offices every day. and so the baker had to stop baking each day to make the delivery and he had to work a little later each night and still could not finish as much food as he had prepared before, but he agreed that it was good for the wives to have bread and cakes at their office so that they could work and be strong and independent. and likewise all of the wives set as a condition of their approval for their husbands' professions that they provide whatever the wives needed in order to do their jobs. and all the men had to work a little harder, and have a little less to show for it, but all agreed that it was good.

and when the wives got their paychecks they took all of their money to the seamstress and bought finery and extra things for themselves. and the seamstress made more money than she had ever had and she bought as much as she could use of all the products that all the men of the village made and she bought even more than she could use for she was a wise woman and liked to prepare in case she were ever unable to work.

and the men took their goods home to their wives and there was not enough food for anyone and there was not enough clothes for anyone and there was not enough of anything that anyone needed. the men had not made as much of everything and the seamstress had purchased much of their produce and sold it on to other villages. and everyone was miserable but everyone agreed that it was good for the wives to be strong and independent.

and then the femalist came back to the village and talked to all the wives at the office while their husbands were working. and they told her of their woes. and she told them that they were unhappy because the men were still holding them back. and she counted all of their paychecks and found that they would not be able to buy half of all of the goods that the village produced and that they were suffering under an oppressive "wage gap". and she told them that they needed new rules to give them equal pay to their husbands and that then they would be happy. and the women voted to raise their own pay to that of the men. and the widowed seamstress voted with them because she was a wise woman and knew that she could raise her prices if her customers had more money to spend.

and things became even worse than before. the women still spent all their money on fine apparel for themselves and the village became even more starved for food and necessities. and the men all asked their wives to keep more of their money for family expenses, but the wives were cunning and had been warned by the femalist that this was "financial abuse". and things continued to get worse.

and the femalist came again and listened to the women lamenting their fate. and the femalist told them that they were all being abused and raped by their husbands. and she told them to all get divorced and that they should have custody of the children because they made as much money as the men and could care for the children themselves. after all, they were strong and independent now. and the femalist told them that the men should pay half of the expenses of the children to the women out of their earnings. and so the women voted and expelled all the men from their homes.

and the men built modest accommodations for themselves and conserved everything they could keep from their ex-wives. and they were not as happy as they were before, but they lived a decent existence. and the ex-wives were more miserable than ever. and the seamstress was covered in fine jewels and was waited upon by barbarian slaves she purchased from the nomadic tribe of chad. and the wives were jealous and hated her.

and the femalist came again to the village and told all of the villagers that they needed for the women to "lean in together" and "ban bossy" so they could get "more women in tech" and elect the "first woman president" because "yes means yes" and "end street harassment".

and finally the men of the village understood that they were hearing meaningless words. and that these were satanic incantations of a cunt-witch. and they tied the femalist to a stake and burned her to death. and they fucked whores from the chad tribe and told their ex-wives to go fuck themselves. and the men and the widow lived happily ever after.