I don't know why I did it. I don't know what I was thinking. I have a small crush on a girl at work. She's dating another guy at work, and I've noticed lately she doesn't seem too happy with him, and she literally told my friend at work as much. I catch her checking me out a lot of the time, and personality-wise we get along pretty naturally, it's actually pretty effortless and I appreciate that.

Thing is, her boyfriend asked her to marry him with a promise ring, which IMO doesn't really count as an engagement commitment. They are both young, early 20's, and I honestly don't think she wants to get married, but he's big on it for some reason. He just asked her a few days ago and it was on facebook and everyones talking about it at work. The guys mom works at the store too, so I can totally see how if she's not down with it she would be hesitant to just say no and shut the idea down. It's like a community thing. That can be a lot of pressure to deal with and stalling might be the best way for now. At least that's what I perceive as a possibility. Maybe I'm wrong and she's totally into it, but my intuition and observations are not in accord with that.

So I asked these r/relationships people if they thought this is a common reason for couples to break up, since I like this girl, and up to now I've been very respectful, keeping my distance emotionally, not flirting at all, and just being professional. See I like the guy too, he's been really cool to me and I respect him.

Well, let me tell you, r/relationships had a fucking thing or two to say to me. I kid you not, it was a nonstop torrent of creep (super creep even), stalker, obsessive, and a whole lot of people telling me what it is my business to think and feel. One of them even called me entitled. The party favourite there was that "their relationship is none of my business", that was a fucking mantra, even tho I clearly told them I had been nothing but professional and respectful for both of their sakes.

I became morbidly fascinated with their extreme reactions, their crazy off the cuff judgements about my bad character and lack of intuition, and the general disagreement with my perceptions of my own life. I tried debating them. I tried showing them the logical errors, the cognitive dissonance, the unruly and unwarranted hatred. It was a shitshow.

Is this a pure den of misandry? What the fuck did I just step into? I tried to follow the string of hate, and it was damn difficult, but it seemed to stem from my idea that she was checking me out.