My[28F] fiance[28M] of 8 years doesn't think he can get married to me anymore for reasons that sound nonsensical to me, but they are "deal-breakers" for him.

oldredder · 2015-01-09T03:52:29+00:00

meh. Feels too one-sided. The way she tells the story it doesn't sound like she's at fault. But it also sounds like she's just not telling the story.

Maybe he smoked a lot of pot to keep his mind off what he was settling for and if sober entirely would have found her narcissistic and ditched her ass in 6 months instead of being still with her 8 years later. Then again... maybe not.

I think I'll vote too much information is missing & when in doubt, vote with the bro.

2015-01-10T18:19:16+00:00

"I have talked to everyone I felt like I could talk to about this, but most of them have just lent a sympathetic ear and said something to the effect of "that sounds like some bullshit, hope it works out for you."

"...he found a promising job that he gets to start next year. I was so, so happy on his behalf, told all his friends and family, and my family."

"This morning I messaged his both sister and his sister-in-law and asked 'can I please talk to you, I really need your perspective on this' and asked when would be a good time for me to call. His sister-in-law mentioned she was really busy but she would be praying for me, his sister didn't respond to me at all."

"Earlier this week, I'd also emailed his family that I may not be coming to their family trip this Christmas"

Obviously like so many women I've met, unable to keep their mouths shut. It wouldn't cross her mind that 1) all the friends who gave the null answer of "I hope this works out for you" clearly see what he sees: a narcissistic child, 2) that maybe he'd like to have told his family himself that he found a job - or finally 3) He doesn't want to see his family dragged into his personal relationships. I know I don't want anyone in my family to know about my business.

She's just a yapper. He should have seen that 8 years ago. Poor bastard.

TAUK2014 · 2015-01-10T11:55:45+00:00

Turns out I'd stumbled upon his journal, and against my better judgement I read a couple of the pages - they were mostly written in bullet points. He'd written how he's always wanted someone with more 'social grace'

...

he acted very indignant and upset with me because he had just earlier that day, broken into my Facebook and email accounts and read through all the conversations I had with a friend of mine.

...

I said "this is an issue of my personal boundaries" ... His response was "Well that journal was for my eyes only". This was a diversion topic though.

Actually that says a lot to me.

The first post was a bore, the second was a little more trickle truth.

1st post

He accused me of having only 'like 1 friend' ... So I am just hopelessly confused on this one.

2nd post

He'd written how he's always wanted someone with more 'social grace'

...

I'd complained [on Facebook to]... a close male friend... [my fiance of 8 years] has met several times...and said things like "He's being a complete dick right now" and "I hate him so much right now" ... an inappropriate joke was made..."That gets me so hot"... we just act stupid and make food and sex related jokes ... My fiance has never appreciated my crude/perverse humor ... He has seen me joking around like this before, but decides to bring it all up now.

And finally

1st post

Then he lost his job and became depressed... he said he wanted to try and quit his pot smoking habit... he found a promising job

2nd post

he felt his efforts of servitude were being wasted on me... The several months that he'd been unemployed had given him a lot of time to think... He said that he'd always thought and hoped that he could 'turn' the relationship into something

ColtsDragoon · 2015-01-09T04:37:17+00:00

I agree that both, too much information is missing and that when we are in doubt it behooves us as mgtow to give the man an "innocent until proven guilty" sentence.

In spite of the lack of unbiased details I did notice one unintended kernel of truth. When she told us about reading in his journal that he thinks she is an extreme narcissist. I have found several examples of narcissistic behavior in her writing and you would think that in a message on a Reddit board she would at least make an attempt at concealing her flaws. The fact that she didn't makes me think she is unaware of them. She might not even know what the word "Narcissist" actually means.

In spite of 8 years of work down the drain it all seems to be for the best. Spending the rest of his life with this woman in holy matrimony would probably be exponentially more unpleasant than it was in the months leading up to this break.

SQQQ · 2015-01-11T02:21:12+00:00

at this pt her best bets are whore away n pray to land a BB.

stay away from these sperm jackers bro.

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