Basically i was MGTOW all along. I always had my rules. I was never putting women before my favorite hobbies or friends. I was always a bros before hoes guy because i found men weak that get caught by pussies. I see some minor mistakes but nothing special. After my last relationship i said to myself "You know what this is bullshit, i cant be perfect enough for women its all going to end the same way and i love them so im gonna get hurt and it sets me back 1-2 years again" - i dont give a fuck about these average women anymore. I have been asked if i want an LTR with women, but right now i dont see why it would be a good idea. I dont wanna end up bitter so i stay open minded. Just for my own health.

I try to stay away from the "hate" that some people have. I find it irritates me and hinders me. I see it how it is, i know the truth.

It really helped me to write down here what im going through with my family and and funny enough i already see positive changes. Slowly but steady i go more of my own way and i try to see the world how its really as a man today. You gotta be strong. You gotta do it and you gotta do it all the way.

I did this in the past but eventually became to sick to stick with it fully. Now i wanna relocate and try what i can do. Even if i have to go on welfare for a while, i dont care. I was too proud for that. But now i see it as a maybe necessary thing to help me getting further.

I slowly make the changes in my head because i needed a paradigmshift. It feels good. It feels right. It empowers me.