I thought this warranted its own thread - apologies if you think otherwise. I found this last week & thought of this subreddit. I agree & disagree with bits of it but the message is strong.

*This is not my work - if the writer shows up - apologies! Let me know & I'll credit you properly in the original post. It is pretty long - feel free to visit the original post here.

Hey MGTOW – I guess if you’re reading this you’re feeling pretty alone right now. How are you doing?

Firstly, remember that the feeling of loneliness can still be unyielding when you’re connecting to people via your social media accounts. If you’re liking (or getting likes) on Facebook, re-tweeting (or getting re-tweeted) on Twitter or sharing on Instagram yet you still have an aching void, a feeling that something is missing – don’t be surprised. Try not to worry – now is not the time for that.

Ironically, in your loneliness, you are not alone. It is widely reported that more people suffer from feeling alone than ever before. This is partially because so much of what they’re seeing and connecting with online isn’t real or it’s trumped up as the best, perfect rendition of someone’s life, and you’re thinking “Well, my life isn’t that good.”

We have these unreal expectations about our social world as well and sometimes it can make us feel even more lonely. So, what do you do when you’re feeling alone, or you feel a profound sense of loneliness?

If you’re depressed or having suicidal thoughts – this may require some clinical support. You may need a therapist, someone to talk to; you may need a counselor, a confidant because sometimes it’s just too hard to deal with it on your own. So, if you’re at that level of heavy where your loneliness or aloneness or separateness makes you feel depressed or very detached where it’s taken away from your day-to-day connection or joy with life itself, please seek help because that’s serious.

At a casual level, it’s crucial that we all find our own ways of connecting. If you do have a family, if you do have friends, if you do interact with the grocer or the taxi driver or the person who’s selling you your morning coffee; these are all critical moments of engagement and satisfaction.

You might think you’re lonely but what you don’t know is that you’re not actually alone. You do interact with people throughout the day, but you’re not drawing satisfaction from those interactions, so you never feel connected. We need to amplify our presence in those moments & try to become less involved in our own fears & insecurities. Those conversations that become a chore when you’re in a dark place – you need to engage with them.

Engage with their lives.

Sure, you might have come from a dark place & you worry that nobody is interested in what you have to say your opinions. So forget about that – get involved in other people’s experiences; ask them questions EVEN if you find it tedious. The first step is amplifying your interest in other people. Ask the coffee guy how his day is going – or if he has any exciting plans for the weekend. No matter what that interaction was, – draw satisfaction from it.

Walk away from interactions having brought your best self to that interaction—no matter what it is. I don’t care if it’s a family, friend, someone who you just meet on the street, you bring your best self into that conversation. Afterward, you say “I did well there. I asked them some questions, and I shared a little about myself.” That’s step one.

Step two: use the plus-one plan. Text someone or a few people, & invite them out for a drink. While you’re at it – ask them to bring a friend. Or if you’re going to dinner, why not ask “Why don’t you bring somebody to dinner? Instead of just the two of us, we’ll have three at dinner.” You know, and start introducing one more person into your social interactions, asking them questions, sharing a little about yourself. As that happens, you practice engaging with people you aren’t necessarily close to.

Maybe you’ve got like three people in your life, and you like one of them. Well, ask all three to bring somebody to the next thing that you do, and now the odds are increasing that you’re going to find somebody to connect with, because one new person to connect with can change your outlook, your mood, your life forever. One new person can bring in a whole new quality of energy into your life. Just one. But you’ve got to be proactive. You can’t wait and sit there and go “I hope. I hope. I hope.” You’ve got to invite people to stuff. That’s the key. You’ll see that your social sphere grows, and the odds are you’ll find somebody in there to connect with.

The next step is to learn to be more explicit about what you need, about what you want. A lot of us MGTOW feel lonely because we feel like people just DON’T understand, and—the truth is—they probably don’t. And a lot of people don’t understand because we’ve never explicitly communicated it to them. We hoped that they picked up on our hints. We hoped that they would give us time and patience to come out of our shell, but that’s not a good strategy—just hoping. A good strategy is: expressing, communicating, honestly sharing with people who you are, what you desire, what you need, what you dream of, to learn to verbalize that.

In reciprocation, people will share more with you, and you’ll start feeling a different level of satisfaction with the conversations because people were now interested. You will have authentic communication—which is sharing, which is vulnerability, which is consistent, explicit communication, not just hoping people understand. Help them understand.

Lastly, MGTOW, be honest with yourself. Be honest with the people around you. Why are you dissatisfied? Why—given all these things, all these reasons that you have to do feel connected—don’t you? And if you don’t know the answer to that, let me loop back to the beginning. It’s time to get a counselor or a therapist. Talk to somebody who can help you draw that out. Ask for that support to say “I don’t know why I don’t connect with people. They’re around me, but it’s just, I don’t know why it happens.” Sometimes it’s just not the right peer group. You need to find the right peer group.

Join the local hobby club. As dorky as that sounds, do it. If there’s an online forum discussing topics you’re passionate about, go in that forum, contribute, and share. Often, real connection doesn’t come from these singular interactions we have on the internet—one post here, one comment there. Real interaction, the kind that makes us feel satisfied and engaged, are typically deep interactions. Meaning friendships. Meaning loving relationships where we communicate more often and more authentically with the people around us.

The world is not going to show up and see a lonely person and say “Let me help you.” A lonely person has to go “I want to engage again.” It has to be your desire. It has to be your drive. It has to be a challenge to serve more, to share your voice with the world, to get out there, and to allow yourself to really connect, to cheer yourself on even in the times of darkness. You don’t have to be alone, MGTOW. You can start getting around more people, sharing more of who you are. You deserve to have an incredibly meaningful, fulfilling life.