Salutations,

I'm a product of a single mother household, consisting primarily of Her, an aunt and grandmother--both of which acted as surrogate second parent(s). Was told that I would be a much better father than my own--over, and over, and over again. Was simultaneously told how "horrible" he was, while also being told that She "...did not want me to hate Him," and that I should "...have some sort of relationship with him." Feelings ruled and logic drooled, as it were. And, any masculine behavior - outside of early sporting activities - was considered borderline criminal and was often met with the "You're just like your father," line. I have a younger brother, he turned out just as well.

Thoroughly cucked, I tried to "nice" my way through life--thinking that appeasing/being agreeable with everyone would lead to my own happiness and success...

... and was wrong on all counts.

I stumbled from one committed relationship, to another; each time, I found myself getting walked on, wrung for my money, and cheated on--repeatedly. Mother kept pushing me to keep dating, because she wanted to be a grandmother. Eventually, I ended up under the thumb of the right/wrong girl - depending on how you look at it - and it was abusive enough that I won't be going into details of it, here.

But, the short of it was the girl taking me for a ~6 year ride, through hell--threatening to kill herself, if I didn't stay with her/did her bidding/proposed to her.

I've since escaped, but as a result of a controlling mother and a roller coaster ride of validation seeking from women in general--I had lived in an almost constant state of multiple jobs and stop-start mode for college education.

I'm starting life at 32. Baby steps. Gods help me.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I hope you're all having a good start to your week.