Yesterday I met an astonishingly RP man. If you're interested in his background check out my previous post titled, "How I met Mr. RP". To quickly describe him, he's a 52 year old Italian with decent looks, great style, has his life together, and amazing game.

On out second night out gaming together Mr. RP told me something important, "You keep her and your eyes on your side of the table, don't look over at me or my girl, keep it just you and her." He explained this a little more to say that I should be trying to narrow down her focus to just me, and visa versa. He took this a step further and said he only keeps the conversation in the present. He avoids talking about things outside of the immediate situation to keep her in the present. If she's looking at her friends or thinking about other things such as work, it ruins the sense of isolation/intimacy between us two.

How to do this, and does it work:

  • There's a lot of ways to manage this but I think the biggest one is to simply ignore the other side of the table when sitting down together. Or ignore the other members if in a group. You can have her turn towards you so she can't see her friends, "If she can't see her friends, it's like they don't exist" - Mr. RP. Not breaking the isolation/intimacy/illusion on your own accord is over half the battle.

  • Take her somewhere else: To the dance floor, to the drink counter, anywhere and everywhere but where her friends are. In Japan women are kind of prudish - this is the best time to go for the kiss early on, when her friends aren't around.

  • Keep her eyes on you. After the date went on she got more comfortable (was kissing me with enthusiasm) and I could start to push boundaries a little bit. Her friend was being weird and staring at us, so I just put my hand over my face to ignore her. I did the same to my girl. Or if my girl was looking across the table, I gently turned her head towards me with my thumb and finger to have her look in my eyes.

  • Keep her focus in the present: I have to admit I'm not very good at keeping the conversation in the preset. What I can do is comment on the situation, and draw conversation from there. My strength is non-verbal on this sort of thing. Take her to the dance floor (probably the best?), look into her eyes, talk with your hands and body (post coming up soon on this). Take her to multiple places, make it easier for her to enjoy everything in the moment, without distractions.

For the last part, does it work: It works for me. Give it a try.

Good luck on your Journey,

Bitter