Going to give a short story first: My ex (28F) broke up with me (28M) after being together for 2 years, we bought a house and lived in it for 1 year, we also got a puppy and made plans for a potential future with marriage in it. I worked a 8am-5pm job made more money and she worked a 9/10am-6/8pm made less money. This was my first time living on my own so I had to learn to do laundry, electrical, cleaning, even a bit of cooking, paying bills and etc. She has lived on her own before but had to move back to her parents due to financial stress. We had an awesome relationship and people saw us as a power couple she was a badass, petite but drove a truck and didn’t take shit from anyone. I was calm cool and laidback with a jokester personality. I was made sure the house and puppy was taken care of so when she got home after a long day she could de-stress tell me about her day and just enjoy each others company. We went out a lot , every weekend we had something planned and we traveled a lot, in two years I got to visit so many states and experience things with her and sometimes even with her family.

The break-up: One day all of a sudden I notice she became very cold, reserved and distant. I asked if something was wrong but go no response. I knew work was stressful for her so I gave her space as I felt rejected when I approached her. After a week of this I asked her again what was wrong and she said: I think you are perfect, you do everything around the house and you help me so much but I feel like I come home and just want to fight and you don’t deserve that. I also feel like when you ask me for things you should just decide and not ask for my opinion. She said we don’t communicate well and we are very different.She said she didn’t feel it anymore and has felt like this for 3 months.

Trying to understand: 2 months after the breakup I have read a lot of these relationship books and what women want. I have read that women want a man to decide things and stand his ground, and be masculine and allow her to be feminine. I have beta myself without realizing it yet I started our relationship as an Alpha that wasn’t even attracted physically to her just wanted to date and get to know her.

I still feel that even if I was an “alpha” to her she would’ve challenge me and we would just be fighting all the time.

Do women really use these “test” to check men’s alphaness and to see if they are attracted to them.