Years ago I dated this average but pretty woman, and I slowly but surely introduced her to the world of sex-positive culture and sex parties. When we first started dating she presented a fairly average relationship and sex history view, but over the course of a month or two I got her to go to a sex party with me and then eventually got her to swap partners. That was hard for her at first (about half of women I've gotten to do this find it very hard, while about half are pretty curious to try it out) but she did do it and I think she did it for my sake. Over time she became more sex-positive and more in favor of group sex than she had been.

Eventually things soured because I wouldn't move in with her and refused to make any sort of long-term commitment. That's probably been the end of my last 10 - 15 short- to medium-term relationships. Most women have their own dating timeline and it moves from meeting to kissing to casual sex to deep sex to moving in, marrying, and children. My timeline stops at deep sex and most women will break up with me when I tell them after a couple months that there is no "next" step to the relationship. It is possible to lie and let women dangle for long periods of time, but I think it's mean, deceptive, and hurts both the woman and the guy telling the lie. Women also have tight reproductive timelines and for women over the age of 25 I think it's cruel to let them invest years of their reproductive prime in a relationship that isn't going anywhere.

I did like this woman and I did like the way she fucked and like most women who breakup for timeline-related issues we did keep hooking up fo a while.

I don't think any of her friends totally knew what we were up to, although some of them could probably read between the lines when they'd ask what we were doing and I'd say things like, "Going to a party," and when they'd ask if they could come, I'd explain that I'm not sure it was for them and that I wasn't the host anyway. If you do this kinda shit with a smile you can get away with it. But they knew something was up and some of them drunkenly confided their own dark sex desires to me, because they knew I'd keep those desires secret.

That's the short, not-very-interesting story of some random woman. No real reason to tell it now, except that recently this guy I work with acquired a new girlfriend. One night I finally meet her and it's the same one! Meeting for her was awkward as fuck for her and for him, because we obviously knew each other. I just did my usual thing in this circumstance and was like, "Oh hey, I remember you from Joe's party." Like I said women want to fall into your frame and she fell right into mine again, saving face and making sure it's less awkward than it would be otherwise for the guy dating her.

Part of the reason this encounter went more smoothly than it could have is because she knows I don't want to shame her in front of her new man. I don't want to out her. She knows that when I act sex positive it is for real. She acquiesced to taping sex acts that could be viewed as degrading because she knew, correctly, that I would never use those tapes against her. Some snippets of those tapes are still on the Internet but she is not identifiable in them. If you are part of the secret society and really keep the "secret" part of the secret society, good things will happen to you.

I'm 95% sure she's not going to tell the guy she's dating that she's fucked me and fucked a bunch of other guys and gals with me. I'm 95% sure my colleague has a normal frame and worldview about women that does not include understanding that women love sex and will do almost anything for a guy they really want to keep. I feel kinda bad for the guy, but it is not my job to wake him up; that is his job. He is a fine guy overall but he presents to women as weak and normal so I'm sure women treat him that way.

I'm also 95% sure that he knows on some level that I fucked her or tried to, but his mind doesn't want to go there. People can tell which guys are players and which guys are losers who can't get dates, and while I've mostly stopped bringing dates to most company or industry functions, people know. I try to minimize that reputation because it doesn't help me for the most part, but it is not possible to fully hide who you are.

Also, I'm sure that some of the commenters will say that all women are willing to go to orgies and engage in gang bangs and the depraved shit I like. It ain't true. Women have turned me down or just run away because group sex or partner swapping is not congruent with their personalities. That's fine with me. I'd say they're the minority of women, probably under 25%, but they exist. Over time though most women will follow your lead. I want to be a hedonistic slut and over time demand that women do the same. Most will. My colleague probably wants women to present as demure and so they probably will present that way. Most people do not actually stand for anything, so they will follow what happens around them.

Happy New Year and make 2017 the year you do the shit you really want to do. Don't let other people tell you how to run your life. It is up to you to create the world you want to live in. The vast majority of the population just goes through other people's ruts and other people's paths.