Let's start by looking at the externals. Its body is sleek and compact. Its impressive bezel-less design and 19.5:9 aspect ratio radiates elegance without boorishly needing excessive design features. Its CPU is muscular, as a result of Apple's proprietary A-series chipset. This gives the new iPhone 12 the appearance of a smaller phone without sacrificing computing power. It is then covered by its OLED display. The sophisticated design reminds us of ruggedness, which is certainly not the case as the screen will shatter into dust if you so much as sneeze on it. It also has a psychological effect on the observer. The perceived social cachet reminds us of our dark, deep desires that emerge from both overt and subliminal advertising as well as MKULTRA levels of thought manipulation directed against the public by asshole marketing directors.

The iPhone's market positioning is one of alphaness. It is expensive, unnecessary, and aggressively destructive of traditional privacy rights. Its behaviour strikes fear into the hearts of App Developers everywhere who would much rather not deal with any of Apple's bullshit.

The revolting summit of this deplorable display of conspicuous consumerism is the actual production of this useless piece of crap. The sites have frequent spray of tiny metallic particles, and noise in excess of 80 decibels on the factory floor, according to the workers. Dormitory conditions are reportedly terrible as well, lacking hot water and showers. As a result, workers may pass on washing for days at a time, much like the average r/femaledatingstrategy user.

All this is the reason why the BRAND NEW IPHONE 12 is the epitome of masculinity, because despite all that, it will certainly see more ass than any of the rest of us.