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How do I start to eliminate most of the preconceived notions I’ve gained?

Cruztd23 · 2020-05-10T23:33:25+00:00

Long story short, I went through a break up due to distance while I was away at college and it hurt for a while so I went completely red pilled. Now, I've...

Cruztd23

May 10, 2020

7 upvotes

/r/ExRedPill

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Post Information

Title	How do I start to eliminate most of the preconceived notions I’ve gained?
Author	Cruztd23
Upvotes	7
Comments	10
Date	May 10, 2020 11:33 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ghc75t/how_do_i_start_to_eliminate_most_of_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-start-to-eliminate-most-of-the.662554 https://theredarchive.com/post/662554

Comments

[–]2plus2s50 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cruztd231 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]sg1831 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd just break it down with Socratic Method.

Ask yourself why you think specific things, and assume them about women. Women are just people. There are good ones and bad ones, just like men. Women are also allowed to have sex. Without judgment. Dicks don't alter a vagina in any permanent way. Everyone should enjoy it safely and responsibly. Without shame. If someone made you feel ashamed for your sexual history, would you think them a kind person? Would that be attractive?

When you don't want to hate other people, and understand that kindness is important (rudeness and discourtesy open up the gateways to hate, vitriol, aggression, and even violence, there are countless studies on its importance and the effects on humans when it is withheld), you may find your value system changes. And it should. Allow yourself to be wrong. Let your opinions alter. That's growth.

The battles we think are important are often more intense in our minds than in reality. Stop reading anything TRP. You will only be fueling confirmation bias, not being objective and trying to change.

Zen your life out. You say you were hurt over a break-up, sort your feelings out and address them. Communicate openly with yourself about it. What kind of person do you want to be now?

Do you want to be a hero in the tale of your life, or a bitter asshole?

It's all a choice.

Read up on Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Start thinking of everyone as individuals. Practice being kind to them. You will see a difference, I promise you. Put your energy into better things. Volunteer, pick up trash at your local park (obviously while social distancing). Surround yourself with positive shit. Check out women who do good for society. Change your bias.

[–]christivngomez0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] -8 points-7 points-6 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cruztd237 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Idk man if I were u I’d definitely check out the red pill youtubers. They are great for self improvement but really shit on woman

Well.. let's agree to disagree on that one? Shall we?

One wonderful lesson to learn in life, and - incidentally - something that also TRP teaches is accountability. Accountability is a byproduct of:

Free Will https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_will
Locus of Control https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control
and more...

Now, don't misunderstand accountability for faults. Life happens, and at times shitty things in life happen to us all the time, it's not our fault, but we are accountable for how we respond, and - at times - whether we were partially responsible for putting ourselves in risky situations.

You had a breakup, it sucks. Most everyone knows what it feels like, including yours truly. It was not your fault, quite the opposite, it happens. BUT I want you to observe your choice of words in what you write:

"due to distance while I was away at college"
"so I went completely red pilled"
"due to my mindset that I adopted."
"I didn’t realize I was doing this so often"

You have a Justification, Argument, Defense, Explanation (psychology calls it JADE) for everything.

any help would be appreciated

Breathe!
No really. Breathe! You're human, and you're alive, this is the human experience. Does it suck? Well... at times. It's not the nice-happy-go-smooth life that we see in movies.
You want "a blank slate"? That's a great idea. You need to unload of the weight of the attachment that you have with those past events in your life, as long as you keep pushing them away from you with some sort of justification so it's not your fault, you'll always be attached to those. Breathe! Those events happened, and you were an active participant into them. Process them so you can move on and they will be part of your history, and not part of your present mindset.
So you want to do #3 above "for the next girl"? What about YOU? Where are you in this picture? What about a blank slate for yourself? What about putting all the staff behind you once and forever for yourself? How about building a life, a long life by yiourself, for yourself that is satisfying and successful by working hard at something for yourself that gives you control over your life and satisfaction? Guess what? There's also a nice byproduct of that: people are attracted by that kind of person, you'll have good friends, friendly acquaintances and... with one of them there will be a mutual attraction and... you'll have your "next girl".

You can do that, or some of it, or tweak it a bit to fit your personality or... do nothing of it, ignore 100% of my comment and.. continue on your quest. It's your life = your choices.

No matter what you decide, I think you owe it to yourself to ~~read~~ study this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control

[–]Cruztd235 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LtGabrielCashMoney1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link