Lately, I’ve been thinking about posts that seem to normalize men finding their female partners unattractive, rather than being fully supportive of their partner’s decisions.

The post that initially got to me was on AITA where a woman shaved her head and her boyfriend decided that he wasn’t attracted to her anymore, and that she should have discussed this decision with him. I was immediately thought “obviously NTA” but the comments were full of comments calling her out. Would we expect a man to discuss a haircut with his girlfriend? Why does she need to ask permission for a damn haircut? Maybe because men think that the relationship between femininity and worth of a woman are directly correlational.

At this point, I thought, okay, one fluke. One post that really grinds my gears, but I’ll get over it.

Then, I saw the post about the woman with literal cancer, whose husband was critiquing her body that had just undergone a double mastectomy. She hadn’t even gotten to remission, yet! Instead of holding her hand through the entire process, and being her rock, his priority was her getting breast reconstruction surgery because “he’s a boob guy.”

Fuck. That.

The comments made SURE to emphasize that “he’s entitled to his attraction” and “he’s allowed to watch big titty porn.” These made me absolutely sick to my stomach.

At first, I thought we were supposed to prioritize looks over female happiness. Now I realize that it’s much more insidious than that, where we emphasize looks and levels of attraction even OVER physical health.

In conclusion, I’m switching to women. /s