Well, I don't know why - but I kept on having relationships with guys I didn't really want to date. Plus, they're not my type. Shit.

I felt like saying "no" was bad because I couldn't say no to my mom who I really reject as a maternal figure because she acts like a pickmeisha in my eyes.

You know the feeling of "ick" in your gut that you know, but like because of feeling guilty of being that way - you still continue on soothing yourself by saying yes?

I don't really like them. Maybe I should stop lying to myself.