'High maintenance' is usually a term that isn’t used positively about a woman, and as someone who is admittedly high maintenance, I don't understand why it isn't something to strive for.
I'm in my mid-20s, and was listening to my boyfriend's younger cousin talk about her brother and his girlfriend. These are young kids (everyone is under 20) so hearing about their dating lives are interesting. She (let's call her Anne) was saying her brother's girlfriend (Bianca) was too high maintenance because she was expensive to take out, and her brother had to spend lots of money ubering to see her since he didn’t have a car, etc.
To me, I always hear it as “too high maintenance FOR HIM”. Know your worth, and find someone who can act accordingly.
If I dated my boyfriend at Bianca's age, we wouldn’t have the problem of him saying he spends too much money on uber because he had a car to drive since he was 17. He grew up driving Mercedes's because of his family background, which is the type of person who will be able to afford you.
As an only child, I've grown up high maintenance. My parents lavished their time and attention on me, and even though I wasn't given every single thing I wanted, I grew up wealthy so there was never anything I couldn't get - it was just things my parents didn't want to give me because it would spoil me.
As an adult, it's only natural I want this type of lifestyle to continue.
It's not enough to date some random old guy who's made his own money in whatever industry he's been in for the past 30 years. Being high maintenance allows you to find a guy who's still young enough, but with everything an older guy has earned for himself, and more because of his family background. I don't want someone who has spent his life making millions - I want someone who grew up in it, because these people have a very different outlook in life.
I do pity Bianca, because even though her bf and mine are cousins, their family backgrounds are pretty far apart and she's not gonna be driven in a Mercedes by her bf until his parents win the lottery or he earns all that money himself. I was online dating and actively looked for someone like my bf, because I wanted someone who grew up wealthy just like me and could treat me the way I was used to. I lucked out with him, because he grew up even wealthier than me.
I demand degustation dinner dates for my birthday. I want to be driven home after every date - in his parents' Mercedes, not my bf's clunky old Land Rover that's a hobby car. I demand his time and attention on the weekends. I want his best in my life. Don't dumb yourself down to being any guy's Cool Girl when that has zero interest in your own wellbeing.
My ex was in a different SES, where his parents' didn't even own their own home, let alone investment properties. I was given one by my dad at 22, in my name. My boyfriend has one in his name, overseas, in one of the world's most liveable - and expensive - cities. Work on yourself (you can't be high maintenance if you're not dressing well or successful in your own right, in any definition of that word), raise your level, and choose wisely😉
