This is by no means a sympathy post, I don’t want you guys to feel sorry for me, I just want to empty my thoughts to strangers and maybe get a few of your suggestions and thoughts.

Although I’m only 19, I’ve been redpilled for quite a while (almost a year now) and I have my life sorted for the most part: found my mission and I’m pursuing it actively, started lifting and have been trying to expand my naturally introverted personality into a more extroverted one.

However, there are some flaws of me I don’t seem to be able to get rid of. I can’t stop craving for other people’s attention and I am also completely obsessed with the way I look and my social status in the group (all things I hate and desperately wanna change)

This makes me often feel completely depressed and almost dissociated from the environment, like I’m watching things evolve from inside my head, even when I am in situations where I should be trying to have fun. For example, I was in a party recently and I just felt trapped in all of those feelings of inadequacy and sadness.

Can anyone relate to this? What can I do to free myself of those limiting thoughts?