If you’re a woman and you’re reading this rn then take a quick moment to look at the man in your life and ask, “Am I actually attracted to him?” Have you ever ‘subjected’ yourself to sex with him, do you put up with things, have you experienced desire towards him, do you know what you want and can you pursue that even if it doesn’t align with his fantasies? Do you feel sudden and intense discomfort, disgust or fear when things get sexual? Are there social and material benefits to being in the relationship that are keeping you tied to him? I spent my teen years thinking I had ‘intimacy issues’ when really I was just forcing myself into sexual situations with people I didn’t like.