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Is it weak to need/seek encouragement as an adult?

positive-energy-vodo
December 1, 2018
0 upvotes
/r/askTRP
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Post Information
Title Is it weak to need/seek encouragement as an adult?
Author

positive-energy-vodo
Upvotes 0
Comments 14
Date December 1, 2018 5:07 PM UTC
(7 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a24pqg/is_it_weak_to_needseek_encouragement_as_an_adult/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-it-weak-to-needseek-encouragement-as-an-adult.69469
https://theredarchive.com/post/69469
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Comments

[–]DownyGall2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. We’re all human and you’re gonna break down eventually if you don’t have someone who cares about you and roots for you. Even a hug is so, so powerful. It’s why parents/family are so important. You need that base to go build from.

[–]positive-energy-vodo[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think my base is fucked. I can't feel like people care about me and root for me. I can't believe it.

When it was my father, it was from an empty shell of a man, a people pleaser, repeating the words he saw in a book, probably not meaning any of it. Not that I remember any specific encouragement.

My mother was discouraging. Helicopter.

My brother was only encouraging me for his share of money and to live through my success.

If it is a stranger, I don't believe they care. I believe my family also doesn't care about me.

I think nobody cares about anybody.

If they care about me, it's because it is more beneficial for them to act like they care. For example, I heard someone saying they went through pain so they don't want others to experience the same. They spend their time for others to feel good about themselves, to acquire meaning or virtue.

What's the right way to think, and why?

[–]MGRaiden973 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

No. So many young guys these days never got the encouragement they needed. That's why Jordan Peterson, for example, is so popular. He is encouraging young guys to get up and make something of themselves

If you're seeking validation, that's a different story

[–]positive-energy-vodo[S] -2 points-1 points0 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

No.

  1. Why? If you accept help, it implies you are weak. If you weren't weak, you wouldn't accept help. Logic says you are wrong. No?

  2. What's the difference between seeking validation and seeking encouragement?

  3. How can it be okay to accept encouragement, which is a form of help, as a grown ass man?

[–]MGRaiden971 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

  1. If I ask an associate where the bread is in a grocery store, does that make me weak? Accepting help doesn't make you weak. Not accepting help means you have pride issues, because we, as humans, are social creatures that help each other.

  2. Validation is different. People who seek validation have self esteem issues and it's usually because they are insecure about something. For example: most women are insecure about their looks, so they are always seeking validation via compliments, Instagram likes, and looks from other guys. Thats why some dress 'slutty' and post bikini pictures on social media. they want people to validate that they are pretty/hot/cute ect.

  3. If someone is giving you encouragement, just listen to them. You don't have to say anything to them but "thank you". Nothing wrong with being inspired by another person's words. This world needs more encouragement.

[–]Brushyourteethm81 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Plenty of lone wolves here ironically seeking their pat on the head for saying that you shouldn't need help or encouragement from others.

Seeking approval / validation is weakness - asking for help when you need it can stimulate growth. I am actively seeking like minded men that I can resonate with and we can inspire personal growth - is this a form of encouragement? 🤷‍♂️

[–]johnpayne101 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude first of all 'encouragement' isn't the right word. What do you mean by it? Someone cheering on you and saying 'you go'? If you need encouragement to keep going in life then of course it is wrong. And you are an idiot.

If you use the word 'guidance', it would be appropriate. What TRP does is it guides you. Seeking validation from others is stupid. So is seeking encouragement. You are a grown ass man. Make your own decisions and stick to them. Why the hell would you need someone else to say you encouraging stuff?

[–]positive-energy-vodo[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yours and MGRaiden97's last comment seem to contradict.

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Encouagement isn't bad. Unless it's just asking for validation.

I like to seek out inspiration. That's encouraging.

[–]positive-energy-vodo[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

What does it mean to ask for validation via encouagement?

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It means you're fishing for compliments. That what women do. Don't get in the habits of doing feminine shit..

[–]positive-energy-vodo[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

"I am trying to do X. I feel shit. Give me encouagement so I can continue."

Is that asking validation or what?

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

No your asking for help, not compliments..

[–]positive-energy-vodo[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

stop adding dots like a passive aggressive indian bob vagane person okay. i am just asking questions, you don't have to answer, but thanks for answering

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