Hey everyone!

Background context: I am a 26f virgin(yes, I know 🙃) who has gone on dates but never been in a relationship. This is mainly due to my focus on higher academics/career focus and a religious background. I would say the men who I have gone on dates with were HVM and very committed to monogamy, so I never had a previous reason to distrust them.

I made a friend group with some co-workers last January. I become solid friends with two guys, both of which had girlfriends. Something super weird that I immediately noticed about them is that Guy 1 would always bring up his girlfriend in our conversations(it came up organically and wasn't annoying) and Guy 2 never mentioned his. I actually had a female friend from work tell me that he had a girlfriend, but none of the guys volunteered this information. He was never obviously flirtatious or anything so nothing wrong there- I just thought it was odd.

Around the 3 month mark at work, another coworker told me that he broke up with his girlfriend. I left the job maybe within two weeks of hearing that information and our friend group regularly still met up to hang out. One day, this guy texts me and invites me to see a movie with him and my other guy friend and I agree. Last minute, he tells me(via text) that our other friend can't make it and ask if it is still cool with me if it's just us. I guess I'm just naiive, but I have good friendships with guys and it never occurred to me that he was asking me out.

Fast forward and several months later, he still sometimes springs me into situations like this. He has never tried to make a move on me physically or said anything weird or abnormal. He honestly acts like the perfect gentleman when we hang out and I find myself "catching feelings" for him because I feel comfortable around him and he behaves in the HVM fashion that past dates have. I just have a lingering doubt because of a few small details:

  1. Never mentioned girlfriend when he was dating and seems to have recovered from break up overnight.

  2. Has never tried to add me on Facebook but does follow me on Instagram/Snapchat. I'm honestly not trying to be shallow about social media, but for me and most of my friends, social media is more of a casual thing than phone numbers, so it strikes me as odd. And, usually when people add me on one social, they add me on the other.

  3. I moved into an area that is heavily influenced by Latino culture(I did not grow up in the same culture) and my female Latino friends have warned me about the men they grew up with and how much they hate machista culture, including many of the men we worked with. I have some concern about being an infatuation simply because I'm "different" than the other women available.

  4. This guy has never "officially" asked me out or made his feelings about what he wants from me known. I once had a guy friend who never even dated me, confess romantic feelings directly to me.

I know I should directly ask him what he wants, but I was raised traditionally, where a man expresses his intentions first and I felt some small doubt that he is trying to be discreet about pursuing me. I apologize- for this being so long- I just don't have any experience with this. Am I overreacting?