The situation is very simple. You meet a woman (doesn't matter where) and she says nah I'm not into dating yet, still not over my previous BF. I say well okay then we will talk once in a while and see where it goes. Relaxed.

Eventually they start to like you and want frequent contact (either mail or Whatsapp or whatever).

I said well I'm not comfortable chatting all day, every day, every week and every month. I need some space. Then the rage comes and the ignoring.

She loses interest (why?) probably because some chad is sending her chats filled with bullshit all day (I think). She only replies to me scarcely, and when she does that she starts moaning about "us not being in the chat and call phase yet". I said wtf we agreed to keep it slow. I am not comfortable by chatting a lot, I prefer GOOD conversations over stupid oneliners like "hey how u doing" every morning. In fact, I dislike chatting each day at all. I don't even speak to my family every day.

And I have been down that road with girl no 2. First that girl wanted to have chat app XYZ, then she wanted to have chat app with quote function so she could quote me on a a specific sentence conversation (long press on Whatsapp) so that she was able to make her point. Then she wanted to chat frequently, and when we finally met (after tons of excuses) she had nothing to say anymore because everything was already said on Whatsapp...

And when you deny it, saying HEY I HAVE A LIFE! then they start acting like five year olds that don't get their crayon's. I mean what is is that if you decide to not be a pushover they start bitching around or ignore you. Why is it that their will is always prio 1 and what you want is prio 9999?

I may want to call it egocentrism, not sure. And I don't know how to deal with it. Especially when it's co-workers.

It's more than just attention seeking. It's more than just having control over us as men. If they don't get what they want, the shitstorm begins or they leave you. Is this the "happy wife happy life"? I'm absolutely willing to speak to someone, but on my terms. And it seems impossible.