Links to my other LTR Game articles:
LTR Game: Maintaining Frame
LTR Game Part 2: Building the Foundation
LTR Game Part 3: Unicorn Hunter Checklist
LTR Game Part 4: Positive Masculinity
For Men: Love tempers power
I've never seen or heard of a happy matriarch with a happy, supplicating husband. Love, it seems, does not thrive long term when a woman is given power, and this consideration is thrown out immediately as a viable strategy. Contrast this with "50/50" or "equality-based" relationships, and what you have built in is a systematic struggle for control, waged by one or both partners depending on the context at hand. They both tend to seek what it is they want, and seek to impose that on their mutual structure. This leads to a lot of unnecessary strife, indecision, unhappiness, and a constant, vague sense of who may be temporarily or contextually wearing "the pants", so to speak. Since, as we have seen, the efforts to be equal and lacking an acknowledged hierarchy is fraught with negative possibilities, we here at TRP know better than to fall in that trap. This is why I support the Captain/First Officer model first and foremost.
As the Captain, love hones the greater instincts of your leadership. Love can make you too weak, it can bring you low and pitiful if you do not have mastery over yourself, but when well calibrated, a woman will feel a hopeless gravity toward your love tempered leadership.
Every man is on a spectrum of his instincts to bond, and to protect. This is in concert and in contrast to the instincts to lead and acquire. When a man both loves and leads a woman, both sets of instincts are brought to bear, and love tempers your leadership.
Love naturally rolls downhill. Men love women, women love children. Love flowing upwards requires more strict conditions, namely respect. You must understand that the responsibility to love, and the capacity of others' ability to respect you have the same origin. You. You are responsible for sending love down this hierarchy and giving women what they need. You also must be a respectable man, giving an avenue for reverence to flow upward, and for deference to resonate into shape alongside her respect. You must generate conditions where both are possible. If you cannot be respected, then you cannot be loved. If you cannot give love, then you don't deserve the respect of your first officer.
You earn respect by being a good man, showing strong leadership, by putting your mission in life first on your list of priorities. You give love by showing preference, providing, guiding, protecting, and making the best possible decisions you can in every context. You seek to do right by your first officer, always looking to the long term.
Imagine a child for a moment. Imagine this child has absolutely zero respect for its parents. Now, imagine how this child acts toward and treats its parents. Can you imagine a single scenario in which a child with zero respect for its parents can actually display or feel love toward them? If your child never respects you, it will never even have the OPPORTUNITY to love you, and this is the fault of the parent. This is precisely the same for women who establish a relationship with men. Respect is the foundation for a woman's love and attraction toward any man. She will never truly respect you if your relationship revolves around deference toward her. She will never truly respect you if she leads, and you expect her love to roll downhill onto you with any degree of beneficence. A woman who manages to love you when she has asserted herself as leader will treat you like a child first, and a partner second. This is why not respecting men is easy in this sort or relationship organization. Most people take no issue with lying to children or withholding the truth from them. "It's for their own good" most rationalize.
If you do manage to find (or accidentally make) a woman who does not need your leadership and your frame control to "love" you, then you've effectively found a woman who doesn't need you. A woman who doesn't need you will show this, and if you're not already out of consideration for sex or continuing a relationship, mutiny is in the cards.
If you are a woman and you are reading this, I just want to explain that you need to drop the NAWALT mentality. You are not a special snowflake and the concepts of women discussed here should be taken as valid, especially with concern to yourself. Understanding and controlling your nature to greatest self benefit will do more for your than resting on your laurels as you sit in denial of reality. You kneecap yourselves by misunderstanding what natural factors act on you. Men are raised to beat back a great number of their instincts by their family and society. Men are aggressive, men are much more overt in seeking sex, men engage in overt (rather than subversive) intrasex competition much more often than women, and men are given to acquire means to benevolently provide resources and skills for not just themselves, but for their families. As an example: men are naturally aggressive, but there are a number of fairly stringent consequences that exist for indulging in our more basal, violent natures. For women, the majority of their natures are actually excused, taken to be empowering, or encouraged on a case by case basis. As a woman, knowledge of some of your underlying frameworks can help you prevent problems in your own life and assist in securing long term interpersonal happiness. If you compete with or confront a man long enough, he will treat you (in all the negative ways) like a man. No man wants to do this with a woman he loves. No man wants to compete and debate with what is supposed to be his supporter, cheerleader, and lifelong ally.
Women have more fluid morality. Women are more emotional on the whole. Women are not encouraged on a social level to temper their natures for the sake of love and stability. Women cannot be trusted as leader interpersonally, too much can go wrong and there are innumerable ways they can unknowingly sabotage the happiness of both partners due to their natures, much to their own confusion and discontent. I've seen so many of these examples in my own life and TRP has been rife with them over the history of the sub. Summarizing observed patterns with "Welp, people are shitty" is disingenuous, unconstructive, and exhibits palpable denial. Women become destructive and act shitty instinctually because they're not getting what they want or need out of a relationship. When a woman leads her man, this does not help her to feel safe, it does not add to her comfort. In fact, this exposes HER to things she otherwise would be insulated from by being second in command and not the leader.
As Captain, your relationship happens on your terms, and this explicit realization gives you the GREATEST advantage in mate retention. Most men stumble about blindly, and wonder why they can't attract a woman. Those who do manage to attract a woman, they tend to stumble about blindly inside of a relationship, and eventually the patience of their woman wears thin, and abandonment or betrayal is not far behind. Once there is a critical slip and you begin to establish habitual patterns of destructive behavior to your mutual foundation or your own frame, consider yourself to have 5-10% of the total duration of your relationship (up to this point) to correct and reestablish leadership. If you've been together for three years, you have around two months minimum before there could be irrevocable damage and the realization that there's been a dynamic change can (and very likely will) result in mutiny.
TL;DR You must encourage her to put you first in the hierarchy, and to show you respect on all levels.
Women and men alike, remember, there is no silver lining to The Red Pill itself. The silver lining doesn't come in the information we provide, it comes in knowing how to live a more successful life, and how to cultivate stable, healthy, rewarding relationships.
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