So I've known about The Red Pill for a long time, and like most subcultures only really saw what I considered to be truly nasty, gross mischaracterizations of women and relationships that not only did I disagree with, I found outright offensive. While I still largely disagree with the mindset, I wanted to learn more out of innocent curiosity (and personally, don't feel like other women are going to hound me if I were to disagree or ask questions). I didn't even know there was a community for red pill women! So, here goes nothing.

  1. I've seen the speil about "beta men", read the pinned post about the balance between feminine and masculine that "all women desire", and have some questions. To what extent are "feminine" traits in a man unattractive to women (and I'm generalizing here) who subscribe to TRP? The post mentioned that compassionate, nurturing men are valuable fathers, but still "beta." The dudebros over at TRP seem to treat this word like a bad one, but is it?

  2. I've seen posts here about women asking for advice about their relationships, stating their SOs are demonstrating "beta"/feminine traits. But when they describe those traits, most of the time they either are what I would consider to be inherently emotionally abusive and manipulative or just... part of the human condition. Does suffering from mental illness (i.e. depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.) preclude a guy from being masculine, in your mind? As for the abusive aspects of some of these relationships, I feel like this is just indicative of being in a negative head space / bad relationship / all around shitty person (again, generalizing). These traits don't feel uniquely "feminine," but it seems like many people (at least on TRP) treat them as such. Does it bother you to be portrayed in that light? Am I misreading / misunderstanding the context of the sentiment?

  3. Which brings me to another point. While I by no means claim to have read every post and comment on TRP, a lot of it seems... Gross. Like, just a bunch of dudes circle jerking about how many women they bang (secondarily, please someone explain the term plate. Is it just me or is this a super rude way to describe women you are sleeping with?), how "alpha" they are, and how foolish / vapid / manipulative women are. Am I misunderstanding the implications of the sub? If not, how does that make you ladies feel? It doesn't really appeal to me, but maybe it's a different strokes for different folks kind of situation.

  4. What does the gender binary look like here? Kind of a simple question. Where do trans / non binary / agendered people fall in TRP strategy? It seems like the lifestyle is inherently incompatible with most atypical gender definitions, but I figured I'd ask anyway.

  5. What are some of your stories? Do you think TRP and RPW are the way for everyone, or is it a personal preference thing? This one especially hits home for me, and is probably the question I am most curious about.

If you aren't looking for my opinion, that's okay! But I would suggest stopping reading here. It is in no way my intention to be a judgmental jerk, but if for some reason I am, please call me on my shit!

What I'm really looking for, I guess, is a dialogue. I want to understand, because right now, I don't. Don't misunderstand me, I like my men a little on the masculine side too. But from what I've read (again, generalizing. Pls point me to some more comprehensive / less extreme sources if I'm misunderstanding), TRP feels really damaging to women, and in my opinion, to men too. I don't understand what is "bad" about men having feminine qualities, or what is "bad" about women having masculine qualities. Some people just... are. I don't feel like a man being nurturing or soft, or even showing weakness in times of struggle, precludes him from his masculinity. I don't feel like a woman giving indications that she is not interested in sex is "weaponizing sex."

Help me reconcile what I've read on the TRP sub with your mindset, and show me if I'm misunderstanding the culture as a whole.

If you made it this far, I appreciate it! Again, please let me know if I was at any point rude or offensive. It is the last thing I want. Looking forward to the dialogue!

tl;dr: Help me reconcile your mindset and the purpose of this subculture with a lot of the gross stuff that I have read on subs like TRP, and give insight on what it means to be a RPW.