I'm very beta and I need help. I'm 22, got a job, live in my own apartment (from Europe). Since the age of 4 I've only seen my father only 2 times a year and spoke more with him on skype. I've had two relationships (3 months and 5 months) and I was the one to them it because I would get bored and wanted to fuck more. I've tried having ONS / FWB with girls but everytime they left, my heart will leave with them and feel more lonely. Had lots of thoughts of suiciding because of loneliness. I have no motivation when I'm alone, when I was in relationships / When I felt somebody wanted me, I would've go anywhere and do everything fun, play more guitar, more airsofting, going to gym etc. Lately (2 months ago) I've started to seeing a girl and I feel how she is losing interest in me and it's pretty much eating me inside, last week I started to talk to another two girls that are better looking than her but I don't feel anything, I feel forced when I talk to other girls, even tho they are interested in me. I need help, fast. I feel like this is the only subreddit that could help me. Where do I start? What and how to change?