Do any of you fall in a rut from time to time? When certain life situations line up and I upgrade a plate to fwb, I tend to go no contact/ignore other plates and spend the extra time on the fwb. Even if she cooks, buys me stuff and we have great sex and good time together, I still tend to worry and every little sign of losing interest makes me want to punish her and smart girls notice that and start to get mad and do the same which leads to them actually losing interest. Like one week she is all over me, I lose frame for a day, the next week it's all over and I need to start plating again to find some suitable fwb's which takes time. I know, the cure for it is to have several fwb's and plates ideally, but I don't want to depend on it.

Is the problem validation seeking, no mission, complaceny or something else? Like, I don't have a problem with a plate seeing other men, but I it bothers me with fwb's. They present themselves with little red flags which lasts for months and I always have the feeling I fuck it up somehow and make them lose all interest in a matter of days, even though they were more invested through the whole process.

I probably forgot some principles because I haven't read any theory in a while because I got too comfortable with my previous fwb's. Any of you guys have exclusive (on your side) fwb's and how do you do it? Dark triad and great sex don't seem to cut it, at least not more than 3 months. I had plates and an fwb, but never several fwb's which I would like to have. Any tips? I want to know why I get possessive whenever an fwb forms. I can't imagine myself ever having an ltr.