For starters I lift, and I look like I lift. I am of decent height, and moderately attractive, or at the very worst above average. Not ripped but im working on it.

I haven't been laid in almost 1 year and a half. For some reasons that I'd rather not post about, I basically isolated myself from girls, friends and family for almost half a year.

While this I have told myself numerous times that I am ugly, that I am short, that I am just genetically inferior and girls can smell that. I have implated in my brain that there is no chance Ill ever get laid again.

I have decent conversation skills with guy friends. I have zero with girls. With guys I can toss around couple jokes here and there but I have no charm, charisma, and I am terrible at banter and making witty remarks. I am witless, if thats a word.

When I go out to bars or nightclubs, I tend to overdrink. Mainly because it helps me feel like I am fitting into the setting and also I dont want to be somewhat sober since I tend to feel out of place. Ill talk to a girl and I just have no clue at all what to talk about. Im just awkward. Ill say "hey whats up", then just to keep convo going I awkwardly ask "so where are you from"? You can image the responses I get from that.

On the other hand I've seen guys hold 10-15 mins conversations nonstop at the club then take em back home. Instead girls shrug me off and look at me funny. Literally the definition of a man that doesn't even exist..sometimes I don't even get acknowledged.

The worst is, sometimes with everyone, I feel like a bitch. People feel that they can order me around, talk to me a certain way, and etc. I have almost 2 years reading this and Im still a beta buck when im faced in a situation where I actually have to implement this.

I want to be the man I have always envisioned myself to be. I am sick of waiting. I am wasting my golden years one by one without any major change and the more time it keeps going like this the more I punish myself mentally.

I know you need to figure out TRP by yourself but I think I've took all this information and absorbed it incorrectly. After TRP I've become more socially awkward because I overthink social interactions like crazy. I've become a self-hating ticking bomb(oh Im not a Calvin clain model or the badass bad boy, yeah I cant get laid).

Can someone just give me their story, their own definition of TRP and how they have progressed?

I will do whatever it takes to make this change but I honestly do need a guiding hand to led me out of this mental hole I've gotten myself into.