I think there's a very important element missing in this conversation. A lot of the time love is used as an idealized proxy by wounded souls for ALL human affection. I didn't just miss out on love at that time in my life. I missed out on everything, from close friends, to extended family, to any kind of good and authentic relationship with my parents or siblings. I could probably have been described accurately as needy and entitled. I also could have been described accurately as someone who needed to be loved and instead ended up walking though a charred wasteland alone for the better part of my youth, while looking through the windows of people who had better lives.
This kind of attitude can trap you in devastatingly unhealthy relationships because even if a partner is abusive, it's life-changing to have someone in your life who cares about you and understands you -- even occasionally.
When I was less self-aware, I was sad I missed out on young love. Now that I'm older, I'm sad that so few people cared about me when I was an impressionable and hopeful young man full of potential, I'm sad I had to go to such lengths to try and unfuck myself and my life with so many missteps and people I hurt along the way, and I'm sad for all the other lost souls struggling with the same fundamental issues in their own lives right now with support they can't find, can't accept or can't recognize.
You know what you won't see often in life? Radical honesty. This is a great place to see people reacting to the challenges of life in funny and frustrating ways but it tells you exactly about people's deeper motivations. Behind every mercenary post-wall bitch on FDS is a dreamy young girl with a broken heart and behind every toxic RP follower twisting sex and relationships into a game of manipulation is a earnest young man who couldn't be accepted for who he was. Here is a truth you won't hear often: the world isn't a nice place. Baby birds are devoured in the nest, young children get their limbs blown off at random by landmines from wars that existed before they did, and loving families in their entirety get put to the sword, gassed and hacked to pieces with machetes and it certainly won't change in your lifetime. Love isn't any different. It's not fair, it's not just, it's not common sense, and it's certainly not equal. But I think in general we don't like to accept that fact, so it's a lot easier to do something transparently stupid and counterproductive like blame an entire gender for your woes.
When you outgrow the online nonsense you tend to look into the world of clinical psych. You know what men need more than sex? Validation. But this is one of those dirty secrets that is relegated to textbooks and therapists, because it gives women immense power over men, and neither gender is comfortable saying that out loud.
Anyway perhaps that's more subtext and rant than answer, and there will inevitably be some moron trying to flex on me, but I have nothing better to do and obviously you don't either if you read this in its entirety.
