I had this experience a little while ago and I'm still a little confused by it. I was going to join a community that was technically led by a man, but he was a simp in every way. Idealistic, naive, ignorant, and unaware. He was extremely knowledgeable in what he was doing, so I was hoping to learn from him, but as a man I couldn't respect him. The process to join the group went through... his wife.
She asked me questions about what I wanted to get from the community, so I told her and it was obvious that the guy had skills I needed. She also asked me more about my situation and how the community fit into my life. I told her as well, thinking it was an innocent question and figuring I'd offer it in good faith. She seemed understanding and offered to set up a time to talk with the guy for advice.
I refused, saying that I think I can learn a lot from the guy, but the problem I have to deal with on my own. I think it was clear in my voice that I didn't value the guy's opinion on my situation and was just giving the right lip service. She turned on me immediately and started trying to find the right reason for how she could deny my admittance in the community.
Once I saw what was happening, I just said goodbye and left. She put on this act as if she was sad that I was not going to join and wished she could have done more to help me, but it was obvious that this was just her cover up act.
When I reflect on this, I still don't have a full grasp of the situation. I really did want to learn from the dude, but under no circumstances could I respect his personal advice. It would be like asking a child how to eat well and the child recommending Captain Crunch. I mean I could play along and say, "oh, Captain Crunch! I hear that's a good cereal" but in no way am I going to start eating Captain Crunch for 2 meals a day.
I didn't end up joining the community, of course, and that's pretty disappointing because there's some things I could have benefited from. However, if were to actually follow and respect that guy, I'd be in far worse shape. I understand why the wife kicked me out, and it's because I wouldn't have respected his leadership beyond the knowledge I wanted to gain. If we ever tested a personal relationship, which would have been likely to happen eventually, it would have become clear that I believed to know more than him and it would have really fucked with his confidence and his wife's efforts to prop him up.
I get this and I haven't had any desire to challenge it or go back. However, I'm not sure what the solution to this issue is. Do I just stay away from these charades or do I figure out how to play along and protect the simps from finding out the truth? How would I even go about playing along if I can't genuinely do it? I'm not a very good actor.
