GENERAL MANTAUR
Sheena! Sheena! Where are you, you fucking bitch?
CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH!
GENERAL SHEENA
Right here, you fucking pig!
GENERAL MANTAUR
You? You!? A little pip-squeak? That’s the best you females can come up with? Pathetic!
GENERAL SHEENA
Just because I’m five-feet-tall doesn’t mean I cannot hold my own in a fight!
GENERAL MANTAUR
Whatever, Slut!
GENERAL SHEENA
What’s the matter, Pig? Am I too fast for you? Oh, I get it, you’re big and strong, but your brain is small, smaller than my height.
FEMALE SOLDIERS
HA! HA! HA! HA!
GENERAL MANTAUR
I can take you any day, Sheena.
GENERAL SHEENA
Whatever. And that’s GENERAL Sheena to you, Mantaur!
GENERAL MANTAUR
Okay, and I’m GENERAL Mantaur!
GENERAL SHEENA
Do you want to face me in a light-sabre duel or not? You responded to my challenge, after all.
GENERAL MANTAUR
Yes, I responded, but I never thought it would be against a pint-sized twirpette like you.
GENERAL SHEENA
Like I have stated before, I may be five-feet-tall, but I have defeated many of your soldiers that were a bit taller than you, so I can hold my own in a fight!
GENERAL MANTAUR
Whatever, Slut!
GENERAL SHEENA
What? Are you scared, you little chicken-shit?
GENERAL MANTAUR
What did you say to me, Bitch?
GENERAL SHEENA
Oh, you didn’t fucking hear me? I called you A LITTLE CHICKEN-SHIT! HEAR ME NOW!?
GENERAL MANTAUR
Okay, that does it, Whore!
PSHEWW!
GENERAL MANTAUR
You’re going to be sorry you said that.
PSHEWW
GENERAL SHEENA
We women are going to get you men back for all the centuries of oppression you imposed upon us. All the years of female infanticide, male chauvinism, rape, and abuse! No more, I say, NO MORE! How could you oppress us females; the ones with the power to give life?
GENERAL MANTAUR
Pah! You women; greedy little creatures that take and take and take! In years past, we men used to give you everything: jewelry, a good home, our time, and even our very lives. Then you all turn right around, stab us in the back, and continue to take from us until we are destitute. You give life? Yeah, and then you go on and ruin it. This was a man’s world until you all started your little rebellion. After I win this duel, you women will be put back in your places and this planet will belong to men once more.
GENERAL SHEENA
Don’t count on it, Pig! We women have been giving you men a run for your money ever since we rose up against you.
GENERAL MANTAUR
Then how come we keep winning battle after battle, you fucking bitch!?
GENERAL SHEENA
We have won our fair share of battles too, you retard!
GENERAL MANTAUR
Big deal! Those were only minor battles.
GENERAL SHEENA
They still count. Anyway, here we are-you and me-about to face each other in a light-sabre duel to the death, right here on this battlefield! Come on, you fucking little chicken-shit, make your move.
GENERAL MANTAUR
You first, Whore!
GENERAL SHEENA
Whores! Sluts! Bitches! Those are the only names you can think of for us females, you pig!?
GENERAL MANTAUR
Pigs! Chicken-shits! Those are the only names you weak, pathetic hussies can think of for us men!?
GENERAL SHEENA
Weak!? Pathetic!? We’ll see who’s weak once this duel is over.
GENERAL MANTAUR
Yes, won’t we?
GENERAL SHEENA
ALL MEN ARE PIGS!
FEMALE SOLDIERS
PIGS! PIGS! PIGS!
GENERAL SHEENA
AMALT!
FEMALE SOLDIERS
AMALT! AMALT! AMALT!
GENERAL SHEENA
GIRL POWER!
FEMALE SOLDIERS
GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER!
GENERAL MANTAUR
AND ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES!
MALE SOLDIERS
WHORES! WHORES! WHORES!
GENERAL MANTAUR
AWALT!
MALE SOLDIERS
AWALT! AWALT! AWALT!
GENERAL MANTAUR
MGTOW!
MALE SOLDIERS
MGTOW! MGTOW! MGTOW!
GENERAL SHEENA
So, you admit your faults, huh?
GENERAL MANTAUR
Yeah, unlike you females.
GENERAL SHEENA
Let’s settle this already.
GENERAL MANTAUR
Yes, let’s get to it.
WHOOSH! WHOOSH!
GENERAL MANTAUR
Come on, then. Are you just going to stand there? You women, all talk and no courage.
WHOOSH! WHOOSH!
GENERAL SHEENA
Shut up, Asshole. There is such a thing as gaining momentum, you know.
GENERAL MANTAUR
And there is such a thing as a circling an enemy and a full-front assault, which I am going to do right now!
WHOOSH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH!
GENERAL SHEENA
How the hell did you become a general? Rule number one; never let an enemy know your strategy.
GENERAL MANTAUR
Yeah, and you did the same thing too.
KKSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! BOP!
GENERAL MANTAUR
Gaah! Hey, what the fuck? No kicking, you bitch!
GENERAL SHEENA
What are you going to do about it?
GENERAL MANTAUR
Cheating slut! Kicking is against the rules!
GENERAL SHEENA
Rules? You didn’t say anything about any rules. Besides, even if it was a dirty move, it was a fitting move for a dirty pig like you!
GENERAL MANTAUR
Yaahh!
KKSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! KKKSSHH! SLASH!
GENERAL SHEENA
AUGHHH!
FEMALE SOLDIERS
OH, NO!
MALE SOLDIERS
YEAH!
GENERAL SHEENA
You…got…me.
THUD!
GENERAL MANTAUR
Hear me, my brothers, victory is ours!
MALE SOLDIERS
HOORAY! VICTORY! VICTORY! VICTORY!
GENERAL SHEENA
Not…yet, it ain’t!
PSSHEW! SCHTABB!
GENERAL MANTAUR
YAHHH! WHAT THE…!?
GENERAL SHEENA
Got you, you…fucking prick!
GENERAL MANTAUR
You stabbed me in the back… you fucking bitch!?
GENERAL SHEENA
Actually, I shoved this light-sabre up your ass… Literally!
THUD!
GENERAL SHEENA
OOF!
GENERAL MANTAUR
You…got…me.
GENERAL SHEENA
That’s payback. If I die…I’m taking you with me.
GENERAL MANTAUR
Should there be an afterlife…I hope… I get to slash at you with my light-sabre for all eternity.
GENERAL SHEENA
And…I hope I get to stab you with my light-sabre for all eternity.
GENERAL MANTAUR
Guess…we’re…even.
GENERAL SHEENA
Guesss…so.
SMOOCH!
FEMALE SOLDIERS
AIEEE!
MALE SOLDIERS
WHAT!? HE KISSED HER!? UNBELIEVABLE!
FIRST MALE SOLDIER
What does this mean for us MGTOWs?
SECOND MALE SOLDIER
I don’t know about all of you, but I’m going home to rethink our ideology and this whole war.
