I was probably 8 years old when my parents split. I remember it fairly clearly. They fought constantly. Mostly they fought because, as I later found out, my mom was going out constantly, leaving her husband, my dad, at home to care for me, his biological son and my brother, who my father took in as his own when my mom and my dad met. My mom had been married twice before she and my dad met. She had my brother. My father, who was so committed to my mother, decided to legally adopt him and loved him, even to this day, like he’s his very own blood related son.
It took 8 years for my parents to divorce. Long story short, she cheated on my father. Despite them splitting, my father cared for both me and my brother. He remained what a single father should be. Poured nothing but his sweat, blood and tears into raising us while my mother, traveled with her new boyfriend, of which she later married.
My mother, not only split our family up but also attempted to take my fathers house, of which he bought for himself long before he met her. I later found out that it was me and my brother that convinced her to give the house back. In return, she went after my fathers retirement. At the end of the day, she got around $20k and child support from him but, he got his house back.
That was over 30 years ago! My father never remarried. He dated briefly but was so turned away from marriage and dating that he never bothered to jump back in. He went his own way. And I can’t blame him one bit.
You see, the same exact thing happened to me. Well not exactly the same, but close enough. My exwife and I met 7 years ago. We have a 5 year old daughter now. Things were good for a few years. Unfortunately she woke up one morning and realized the fun she was missing out on, and so started going out more often, leaving me home with our daughter. I later found out she cheated on me. No surprise there!
I absolutely now see why my father decided to go his own way, I do not blame him. It took me the pain of my ex wife’s affair and us divorcing to see, understand and respect my fathers choice. He is the rock and the voice of reason when I question whether or not I should have fought harder for my ex wife. He is and always will be the voice of reason.
I do not harbor Ill will for my mother or my ex. I have a chance, an opportunity, to raise my daughter to be a better person than what they were. To teach her to be more respectful and to be a person of outstanding moral character.
Anyways, thanks for reading.
