I just remembered a sad epiphany I once had that turned out to be true: women I was with valued me less when I was genuinely excited about something, smiling at them.

So there I am, happy to have experienced something and she feels uneasy when I am genuinely happy and smile at her. All women did not know what to do when in reality it is the easiest thing: be psyched for me that I enjoy it! Just go along with the mood. Feel the good feelings that I exude.

I went to the point of me becoming self-conscious and looking into the mirror if I looked disgusting when smiling.

So sad to think back about that.