I had an unstable, very insecure but gorgeous, and "girly" girlfriend during high school. I supported her all the way through her insecurities because I loved her, and she was able to realize her dream which was to get into medical school. At the time, she told me that had I not supported her through the process, she would have given up even before getting started, and chosen an easier carrier. Even though I was older and thus got into college a year earlier, I never laid eyes on another girl and patiently waited for her. One year later, at the start of her college life, everything was good between us.
Suddenly, she had a crisis of a chronic skin illness which made her face be randomly affected by wounds and gashes. Again, I supported her all the way, never once even told her that she looked ugly, always reassured her that despite how bad things got, I would be there for her (she had some very nasty gashes near her eyes at the time, which could eventually blind her). She frequently said things like: "I love you so much" or "I never would be able to do this without you" and "you are the person that has had the most positive impact on my life".
Later during our college years, I had a deep depression (I have depression genes in my family, some of my family members have also committed suicide). These were rough times for me in which I didn't get much done and didn't take care of myself. My progress in college almost stagnated for 2 years because of that. I was deeply ashamed of myself and for a time I hid it from my girlfriend and my family. One day I decided to man up, told everything to everyone, and start working on myself again.
When I told my girlfriend about it, she immediately broke up with me. She still supported me for a week as a friend, though. I understood she must have felt very betrayed and tried not to criticize her about it. The thing was that not even a month later he was already getting together with other guys, in particular, with one guy which I despised deeply (and she knew it). I bit through the humiliation for some time but since I wasn't simping for her anymore she decided to cut off all contact with me (this was when I needed her support the most, since I getting my life back together).
Fast forward 3 years, I managed to get an engineering degree and a stable high-paying job. She contacts me out of the blue and we talk. She said: "since it seems you already got your life sorted now how about getting back together?". I just replied that since she got with that guy that I hated (and who knows how many more) I was never able to forget about it and forced myself to move on.
Conclusion: I deceived her by hiding the dirt that was going on in my life so I can understand her feeling betrayed. However, we had a history of 5 years, and of unconditional support that I provided her whenever she needed it. I waited for her during my prime college years, and then supported her through her skin condition, which made her look and feel very miserable at the time. Then, the minute I start having a problem of my own she jumps ship... on to the next captain. It makes me wonder, did she still really love me? Was she unconsciously (or otherwise) waiting for a way out? Or was what I had done just completely unforgivable?
Just needed to share this story as I still suffer from guilt and regret about this, from time to time, even after 8 years have passed.
