Since I've discovered the MGTOW and Red Pill community years ago, I've seen many men from these communities making comments on Reddit and Youtube about how "women do not love men like men love women", "men love women, women love children" etc. Do not get me wrong, I support MGTOW as a way of life and it's a community that in my opinion speaks a lot of true facts about the society we live in, male-female relationships and other similar topics. However, like most concepts, ideas, philosophies or whatever you want to call it, it contains a lot of bullshit too which is an important thing to be aware of to educate and navigate yourself properly through this life. Nobody will be there for you to tell you how things work or what you should do or not do, nobody will be there for you to be your mentor. You are alone in your journey and you must be your own teacher/mentor. Okay, so back to the topic of this post...
A lot of men, especially from the MGTOW and Red Pill community, seem to believe that a good woman you are in a relationship with is supposed to love you unconditionally, which is a completely ridiculous and childish idea. When are people going to understand that unconditional love doesn't exist at all, and I mean AT ALL? The love between a couple is conditional, the love between a mother and her child is conditional, even the love between you and God is conditional... if you are a religious person. If God, who is the most merciful and most loving, loved his creation unconditionally, hell wouldn't exist according to religion because no matter what humans would do, they would not be held accountable for their deeds because God's unconditional love will be there in the end to save us all. The same with your relationship with your mother. Just push the right buttons and she will eventually disown you. After realizing this, do you seriously expect your wife or husband or anyone else to love you unconditionally no matter what you do? You don't even love yourself unconditionally. Most people at some point in their lives let themselves down and thus they hate themselves and their own shortcomings. If people loved themselves unconditionally nobody would have low self-esteem and struggle with confidence. Every person would be fully satisfied with himself no matter if he/she were tall or short, beautiful or ugly, rich or poor, validated or not and so on...
Conditional love is a much better form of love than the unconditional form, which is actually even toxic. Conditional love allows you to love something or someone by choice, not by default or by force. Conditional love makes you put effort to present your best behavior to those who you love and also to yourself, not acting irresponsibly and still expecting others to kiss your ass because hey, unconditional love. When a woman truly understands that the love between her and her man is built and deserved, this encourages her to be the best partner she can possibly be and the same applies the other way around. If her relationship was based on unconditional love, she would treat her man like shit and still expects him love her no matter what. It doesn't work that way in real life.
A lot of men from the MGTOW/Red Pill community truly think that men are somehow the more loving, noble and virtuous gender while women are selfish creatures who only cares about their own gain. I hate to burst your bubble, but men are just as selfish as women are. Selfishness is a human trait, not an exclusive trait for women or men. All relationships are transactional by nature, especially romantic relationships and because of that, a man and a woman who are dating each other are each one of them looking out for their own needs and desires. As a man, you don't suddenly decide to pick a woman who is in the beginning a total stranger to you with the intention to please or fulfill her in her life. You are doing that primarily to fulfill your own selfish desires, so don't think that men are in any way more noble and selfless than women are. Each one of us is looking for our own self-interest. When a relationship is established between two individuals, then they can finally start supporting each other and doing selfless acts to please each other, but remember that it's still based on meeting certain conditions that both have mutually accepted.
Last thing I want to point out is that there is nothing wrong with a woman expecting her long-term partner to have a stable financial career. Financial struggle is one of the most common reasons behind relationship problems, so if a man does not have a stable income he shouldn't even think about starting a relationship with a woman before solving this issue. However, if the woman expects her man to be rich and live a luxurious lifestyle, she is obviously a gold digger and should be avoided at all costs. A healthy, good woman should choose her man based on his stable and healthy lifestyle and most importantly because she enjoys his company, she finds joy in spending time with him. She does not consider him a utility she can take advantage of but instead consider him a sidekick or her teammate in life. Plenty of women are working nowadays and they have their own stable income, so if you want to find a woman who is not a bloodsucking leech looking for a free paycheck from you, picking a woman who has her own job or career is your best bet.
There are good men, good women, bad men, bad women, but remember that it's all conditional. No one is inherently valuable, everyone has to put in effort to raise their value. Women put effort and prove themselves in their looks (they spend a lot of time and money on maintaining that part of themselves), their ability to be a good wife and mother, and nowadays many of them also in their financial careers. Men prove themselves through their stable careers, their ability to be a good husband and father, and some of them also do that through taking care of their physical appearance. Women have high standars, men should have just as high standards and be just as selective. No woman should get a free pass just because she looks good and that's it, she doesn't have to prove anything else. If a man only expects beauty and sex from women, it's his fault and it's going to backfire at him eventually. Have some standards for God's sake!
