I've been going through a lot of thoughts about my own mental journey and am currently in a completely different headspace than even just a few months ago. I wanted to take an opportunity to both formalize these for myself in writing and see if they are useful for others.

My aim is to put out a series of content geared towards young men under 30, but may be generally useful to men of all ages.

For part 1, we'll discuss something that comes up as early as childhood: your father figure is not MGTOW.

Now, there might be technical arguments to be made in terms of absent fathers. i.e. is a man that disappears on his kid and never marries, cohabitates, or even has a LTR MGTOW? This isn't really a discussion that interests me at the moment and there are other issues with being raised by a single parent, so let's assume a context where your father is an entity you actually know and is raising you in some capacity.

My own context was being raised by a mother and father that stayed together, but not without tons of fights, issues with narcissism, and more. It's not a relationship I envy at all. The best way I could describe it is that my mom is a narcissist from her own childhood wounding and managed to find my dad early in life, who is extremely blue pilled, codependent, and enabled her to essentially retire to full time narcissism when I was born.

By the time you are born, your father has made choices that have led to him not being MGTOW and he will be biased towards validating that he made the correct choice. That leads to instilling the model of pairing up, getting married, and having kids into you. Sometimes the cracks can show and dads can at least offer "sarcastic advice" to not get married, but it's not socially acceptable for them to say it in completely earnest.

Your father is simply not going to be a single man devoted to his purpose and living life to the fullest. He likely gave up a lot of that to pursue pussy and having you. He is just trying to make the best of that path he took and is already locked into.

Depending on how early your father got married, ignorance of the MGTOW future he gave up could be sky high. For example, my father paired up in college and had me before he was 30. That means he never knew what it was like to be single in his 20s. Meanwhile, as I approach the same age, I don't even see how he pulled it off. I'm in the midst of really financially securing myself for the long haul and have plenty of personal goals I wish to accomplish. Maybe times were just simpler before the internet and full on globalization.

What can we do about correcting this instilled bias? One option is to, throughout your life, look for older MGTOW men or at least /r/childfree men and get their persepective, while also independently evaluating the quality of life and how it aligns with what you want. That guy at work who owns a plane, travels to south america and Asia frequently, and has a giant portfolio? Probably not your dad. Heck, that guy probably doesn't even work as an employee any more, so finding them can be even harder.

At the very least, just know that your father will only be an expert in his own path-in his own experience. Supportive, non-bitter fathers will be able to observe what you are building and see that you are cracking into a level of success, happiness, and freedom they might not have considered possible for themselves.

One last note on childhood: If you are particularly fresh here and have codepency issues, red pill rage, or just general anger, definitely reverse engineer your thoughts and feelings. See if you were /r/raisedbynarcissists, rather than just raised by otherwise normal blue pillers, although get off of that sub quickly and into more formal content or therapy. I blindly trusted for so long that my parents knew what the hell they were doing and offering guidance on.

In summary:

  • Your father isn't MGTOW, so he likely cannot properly guide you on the full value and benefits of MGTOW. What led him to becoming your father is antithetical to MGTOW.
  • MGTOW men aren't going to be hanging out where families are. They don't shuttle kids around random suburbs and don't use time "off" in the same way or at the same time as people with children. Instead of going to Disney for spring break, they go explore vietnam for 3 weeks in february by motorcycle. You'll have to find them elsewhere in life, if you wish to gather empirical evidence that this lifestyle is sustainable.

If you'd like to support my work, I have an ETH address. Definitely nothing expected, but definitely appreciated. People release tons of quality posts on here for free, so I don't mind doing the same.

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