I hoped I'd get over my mum's failures in raising me by finding a woman who gave me genuine affection and loyalty. I thought I found that woman until today.
I make all the money, but that never struck me as a problem in the beginning because I thought I provided what she needed. But things started changing the moment lockdown restrictions were lifted. Suddenly I wasn't being financially fair to her because she could potentially start working again and make more than I could provide on my own.
Under normal conditions she'd just go back to work and we'd forget that she just revealed her love was transactional. But we both know she can't do that for several reasons that aren't relevant here. Now I know her affection and loyalty have a monetary value. All the time, effort and emotion I poured into this relationship were meaningless. This special thing I thought we had was a lie. She seems unwilling to give up a night out every week to be with me.
All I can feel are darkness and hate and bitterness. I don't know if I can ever open up to someone again. My life so far has taught me that being vulnerable only gets your heart ripped out.
I know not all of you here are GYOW. Some of you still have girlfriends or wives despite being red pilled. Please tell me I can do better. Tell me I have a chance, because I don't think I can be alone forever.
