How do you deal with family making fun of you for being and choosing to be abstinent and single?
I often find my choice is used to insult me in my moments of disagreement and arguments.
For example they may say, "you are nothing but a loser whom can't get a girlfriend" "can't keep a woman" "weak hurt man" etc. I often do not speak with them despite living with them, honestly it makes me resentful of them and I don't have a lot of people to talk to. My social life is pretty small, I mean I stay home or go to work more often then anything, gym 3 times a week for an hour, go to the store or get a haircut. Don't have much time to do anything fantastical with my current schedule as any social group would be unavailable during my free time. I have two associates from highschool that I talk to from time to time, sometimes weekly. But they are busy too or it ends up costing me a lot of money or time to hange with them (I make more, have my own car and are only free during the evening after 8pm, I don't dislike them as people but sometimes they are obsessed with women of which I have the most experience with and are still the same as they were from highschool so a big part of me is that I wonder if it's good to even hange with them, am I potentially harming myself as I often look at the idea of "those you are always around are what you become").
My family consist of my mother, elder sister and stepfather. No other family is in communication of me outside of holiday and birthday text. And my family never celebrates my birthday or anything.
My mom is a home daycare owner, she does credit reports and taxes and has been pursuing her singing career. She has a hot temperament, my way mindset, and tends to use kindness to gain her way. She thinks disagreement is disrespect. She talks about what she wants to do with her life or complains about someone to me, so our conversations are not engaging and boring as they are one sided. Only compliments when saying bad about someone else. We use to talk but the behavior she had shown was so unsettling I began to stop engaging with her. Her company is very unsettling and dissatisfying.
My stepdad is a landscape business owner and works as a manager of a window blind factory. He just lets my mom act up until he's too upset, he goes to his sisters house everyday and is usually not home, but he often takes my sister with him, not always but commonly. We don't argue and he doesn't usually argue with me but thinks I shouldn't ever be upset with my mom but acknowledges her behavior when upset. We talk sometimes but it's never more than, "you are doing better than your sister, you are on a good path", but I admit comparing and compliments at the expense of others isn't flattering. I care about him but I also don't really engage with him after awhile.
They have my littlest sister together and been married 15 years, dating sense I was 3. They argue a lot, but my mom tends to win out. She basically runs the house. They make comparible money.
My elder sister sells hair and is a nursing home CNA. She's also hot tempered and doesn't like people to disagree with her, she finds it as rudeness, she call me a woman beater for slapping my ex in highschool in the face one time, I've never hit a woman again. She says bad things about me, she never really tries ti talk to me, I call her because I don't always see her but I've not done it for some time to just let it be. She often insults me when happy with my mother but sides with me when she's upset with our mother. I use to confide in her until I realize she tells people things I've said. We use to be close but that changed after realizing that issue.
You know I get family is family and you can't pick them and what not but it becomes very hurtful when your interactions become so shallow or evil that you feel like anything good out their mouth is just a lure to reel you in and cage you back in. Just being with them makes me unhappy, my associate friend's have similar families or some other issue at home.
How can I deal with this, like some real world practiced advice. I already workout, follow hobbies (I'm into reading, animation, gaming, running, weight lifting and do what I like within my time and energy). I don't want to disrespect my family but that's becoming harder as I dwell on the feels and thoughts I have from my experiences with my family. Me going MGTOW was very heavily influenced by my mother and sister, with my dating experience giving me a romantic perspective. I feel like I'm going crazy, like I'm going to explode, I'm mentally and emotionally drained to the point I feel stagnant and diseased, I don't treat people badly but I also don't treat my family very sweetly as often I try to mot make a conversation nor apply myself.
