i'm in need of some advice for this mindfuck that i'm in. i'll try to keep it short:

  • began a something like a class for my uni major in october. it's 3x/week for 3 hours. i sit next to a girl my age (22). we both got along well from the beginning; thought a lot about whether she actually really likes me.

  • signals got stronger and early december there was a university party where we finally made out. texted, date at her place 3 days later. talked, made out.

  • we still see each other 3x/week in the class, everything is cool there. once or twice she had to go the same way as me after class so we walked together, made out. next date a few days later at her place. talked, made out, escalated more. "i'm on my period". didn't care, started to fuck but with the condom i lost my erection very quickly. not so good. stayed at her place overnight and left the next afternoon.

  • kept texting, got more and more close while still making sure to keep some distance and not seem needy. pretty normal all around. met the next weekend at her place. talked, made out, tried to fuck but my mind and the condom fucked my dick. welp. stayed at her place overnight. besides the sex-thing, everything was great up until here. in texting afterwards, she seemed very cute and in love.

  • she was on a vacation for 1.5 weeks. texted very little, kind of short answers from her. thought to myself "well, this is over. fuck".

  • the night she arrived here again, she texted me. little bit of texting back and fort, no answer until the next morning - again a fucking 1-word-answer. i think: fuck that. didn't respond. 4 hours she texts "i would really like to see you". up until that point i had initiated all the dates. was positively surprised. we meet the same night, she told me to bring wine. everything went great from the moment she opened the door. fucked without a condom. stayed overnight.

  • for the first time she didn't text me immediately afterwards. but who cares, we had a great time, right? at night i get a voice note from her (some song at the place she was). next day i answer "what is that" with a gif, she doesn't respond. okay. no texting the next day also. see each other again in class. everythings good, she makes a little allusion to our fucking. she still didn't text me after class (before vacation: lot's of texting from her side). i send her a gif, get a smiley in response.

  • next day in class, we talk, are very close, good times. she texts me afterwards. little back and forth, i ask if she has time this week, as i did in the past. she replies after she gets home from gym something like"wtf, i feel so sick, working out was not good for me body, whats going on". ignores my question. i answer something, she replies something, i dont respond, 20mins later she sends a pic of her food, yada yada yada.

  • see each other next day in class. everythings cool. after some talking i ask her if she has time tomorrow. "no, tomorrow i'm in x-city". okay. the thing is: the last times i had asked her, she always either said yes / no, but i'm free on x and y / never simply said no. fucking shit. was at the gym at night, going to the locker room somebody screams my name from behind. i dont hear it, so it gets even louder "nameee!! hello!! heeree, don't ignore mee". i turn around and it's her, smiling on the stepper.

  • next day, she texts me, we text a little back and forth. my last voice note gets ignored, she doesn't even fucking listen to it. what the fuck? nothing for a 4 days, then on the days we had class i couldn't go (doctor). text her something later in the day, she replies normally, also sends a voice note "sorry i ignoried your voicenote, i had a really...turbulent weekend. you really missed something in class today, blabla". i answer (doctor stuff), she answers and asks if i have an appointment already (doctor stuff), i answer. no reply tot hat but it was just chitchat anyhow. still weird.

  • see each other two days later in class, shes sick as fuck, looks like she has aids, is also pretty bitchy. weird mood, i'm not up for it and ignore that. few minutes later she's suddenly giggling and wants to show me something on her phone etc.

so - what the fuck. all our dates were all in all pretty good. good connection. back from vacation for the 1st time she initiates a date with me. we fuck, without condom. for the first time, me asking if she has time got fucking ignored / negated without offerend alternate dates. she still texted an was cute towards me in class / gym. this week, she hasn't messaged me once. although nothing went wrong with our last date / afterwards. i dont fucking get it.

friends advised me to either (1) stop all investment and be normal and relaxed to her while and class and to wait for her to invest; (2) to lead and show her that i do like her, because her sudden change of behaviour after the last date is kind of a test if i want more with her and since i can get across as pretty aloof/unapproachable, especially in text (+ rarely texting first etc).