Found an interesting page about the differences between otome and harem games.

https://www.quora.com/Why-are-the-protagonists-of-otome-games-generally-more-bland-than-that-of-harem-games

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Someone asked why Otome Game protagonists are more bland than Harem Game protagonists in general. The topmost answer explains how girls react to games differently from guys. It's worth a quick read.