When I was 14 and having a crappy day, one of my teachers (my favorite science teacher - a single guy at the time) stopped me and asked me why I was so gloomy. I told him I was "feeling" down because of a breakup with my girlfriend. His response was that feelings are misconceptions and time specific and should not be ruling how I go about life - he then asked me if I believed him - I said no - he asked me to try a little experiment, to go to the nearest hospital, sit in the maternity waiting room, observe the different women coming in to give birth, observe the men coming in with their wives and then report back to him with what I saw. I thought he was nuts but followed thru anyway.

I met him a couple of days later and we sat down to talk..... he asked me what behaviours the women were showing on entering the maternity ward... " some were crying, some were smiling, some were laughing, some were angry and cussing"... he asked about the men as and I replied "the same" ... he asked which manifestation of feelings was "the truth" .... I said all of them... he asked which ones were "lies" ... I said none that all were truths based on how that person was feeling... he asked if I could see that we CHOOSE our feelings .... that we let feelings govern our lives if we don't control them.... he then asked me why I let another person control my feelings.... I said I don't... he said by letting a breakup with a girl control my feelings the other d as u, I was in fact letting a girl control my feelings and what I felt about myself... he said that I should let goals and being the best " me" that I could be control my life and how I feel about this control my feelings and how I felt.

It hit me like a hammer and I try, and have tried, to view most of life thru this lens.... its hard sometimes but is the most rewarding.... going my own way!