This advice does not constitute legal advice.

  • The first and most important thing to know: if your spouse asks for time to work on the marriage and then doesn't contact you or respond to your contact, YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET SERVED WITH PAPERS. Get a lawyer.

  • Second, GET A LAWYER. No, do not represent yourself.

  • Third, DO NOT AGREE TO ANYTHING. Especially in writing.

  • Fourth, STAY CALM at all times. Do not say, write, or do anything in anger. No threats, no violence.

  • Fifth, GET A LAWYER. Seriously.

  • Sixth, DON'T THINK YOU ARE UNLEAVABLE. She most likely will leave you. Be smart and prepare ahead of time.

  • Seventh, DON'T MOVE OUT. It's your house too. Set ground rules and don't leave unless your lawyer advises you to. If fearing for personal safety, call your lawyer and follow their advice.

  • Eighth, KEEP WORKING. You are a responsible, gainful adult with reason, feelings, and a benefit to your community.

  • Ninth, DO NOT DATE OTHER PEOPLE. Don't party. Don't go out. See lawyer for advice.

  • Tenth, MOVE YOUR THINGS TO ANOTHER AREA. Don't leave easy access to things that are definitely yours, i.e. things in your name only.

  • Eleventh, DO NOT FALL FOR YOUR SOON TO BE EX-SPOUSES LIES. Any attempts to manipulate you are easily found by your spouse attempting to play on your feelings or supposed responsibilities. Tell her to talk to your lawyer, and see #3.

  • Twelfth, DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR CHILDREN TO LEAVE. They're your kids. Don't let them leave or you may never see them again.

These are basic ideas for pre-divoce papers being served that should be in your brain. You will have to give a little in the divorce, but if you think of these things ahead of time you should be far better off than most men who just waltz into a divorce thinking they are untouchable.

Merry Christmas

Get a lawyer. Protect yourself.