Tl;dr: Need good media to get me pumped and back in the mindset.

I'm going to admit I went full retard and fell for a "wonderful girl who's different and likes when I show emotion and affection and wants to be with me more than anything" and managed to get myself far too attached and intertwined in the relationship. Now I'm left with no friends or any prospects a few days before Valentine's Day and even worse I've fallen out of my RP mindset and settled in some hellhole "purple" mindset as I'd put it, some parts in the red some stuck in blue. Last night is my final straw I had a girl come over to hang out and the whole time I was too nervous/ afraid to initiate kino or even really have a decent conversation my mind kept telling me not to do anything or I'll come off as creepy which I'd call a catch 22 because trying not to be creepy makes you fucking creepy. But I had an attractive girl sitting next to me who stayed for 7 fucking hours in silence the whole time my mind telling me not to fuck up but I was fucking up I was stuck like spinning tires. A girl comes and hangs out alone for 7 hours without complaining that shits boring but all I can think is that maybe she doesn't like me, I shouldn't push myself on her I might creep her out. So now I need some serious help, I've been meditating for awhile but I need some good videos, stories, movies, songs, speeches, fucking whatever is available to pump me back up and get me back in the RP mindset so I can get back on track and shed this self doubt.