I am 35M and my wife is 30F. We’ve been married for 8 years and it’s been great. Around the time we met, I was still figuring myself out and have grown a lot since then.
We don’t have sex and that has never been a big piece to our connection.
We get along really well and have a lot of fun hanging out, but this ache inside me won’t go away.
I’m terrified to come out. Both my parents have passed away, so I can’t ask them for advice.
Our cat was also recently diagnosed with cancer, and it’s fatal.
I mention those things because im completely unsure on what to do. I keep thinking this feeling will go away and I’d be okay being with her for the rest of our life.
Then there is this part of me that would feel I lost out on living a more authentic life.
Not that everything has always been fine. As I said earlier I was in a rough place when we met but I have grown so much as a person while she stayed the same
She has no friends or her own hobbies so everything revolves around me and what I like to do because she doesn’t really have her own thing. I’ve talked to her a lot about the importance of having her own life outside of us and how much a hobby would help her depression. She agrees with me when we talk about that but doesn’t do anything to change it.
I have offered in so many ways (therapy, antidepressants and hobbies) how she could help herself.
As I find myself learning to view the world and love myself, she has stayed in the same place
I love her with everything I have in me but I don’t know what to do how to feel or which direction or approach I should take.
This has taken me months to finally have the courage to do.
