Reposting it here because I haven't thought of doing it before, and since this is an activism board, that may as well be useful.

These posts appear there every once in a while: "are female orgasms better?", "which one is better? Male or female orgasms?", "I feel envious of my SO orgasm" and that IS a problem because these posts are made by people who are literally saying the dilemma is ruining sex for them AND all of that uncertainty is rooted in sheer ignorance that is seen as normal. Just imagine how many sex lives are shattered because of a subject that is largely dismissed.

The bottom line: Yes, both male and female orgasms are equal in potential (that is, when all conditions are ideal for both and all sources of pleasure are accounted for). This is largely proved, the nerve ending research is a myth, the "compact nerves in clit" is illogical, prostate play, moaning as a bad indicator, hormones have iffy results, etc. And there are tons of references to that which can be offered, but there are also lots of issues that perpetrate those ideas:

  • Men themselves, watching too much porn and feeling overwhelmed. There are the macho ones who jostle each other with small jokes ("man, will my dick fall off if I try multiples?", "if you scratch your ear with your finger..", "no homo") and accept the "consensus" that female orgasm is better because of how oh so manly they make them feel. The ones who don't and are vocal about it have no support and are classified as virgins/unable to please women, and told to snap out of it because "at least you don't bleed";

  • Women accepting the consensus because they have their own piece of the cake, thus not doing their homework on men sexuality or caring about their date's pleasure. Others feel entitled to the orgasms and are gloaty about it because of the karmic belief that they should have it better for childbirth and periods, which doesn't make sense and feels hypocritical;

  • Media, filing men's pleasure as a case closed and only slightly mentioning the prostate as an ephemeral afterthought. That or giving a lot of attention to women's orgasms, increasing their expectations to the point of being unhealthy. Women constantly asked themselves if they've orgasmed because of those headlines, and it doesn't help that other women also tell them that "you WILL know when it happens", when in reality orgasms come in different intensities and are influenced by safety, vulnerability, feelings of love and connection, etc.

All of this helps to mantain an unhealthy view of sex, and then people wonder why there are lots of young couples coming here again and again asking for that same question despite the fact no serious explanations are given, and deep research on the subject is shunned or seen as weird. In my opinion, any sub with sex free debate or outright sex-related should include a globalized view or tag on the guidelines specifying all the relevant research (I'd be glad to offer my sources) on both sides regarding potential and limitation to cut ignorance from its very root. Saying that "no one can truly know" not only doesn't help and keeps people oblivious, but is also untrue giving how both sexes have corresponding sexual structures, and how the concept of 'mindgasm' or "orgasms are in the brain" is in ascension, with very promising responses.